From Worst To First: Black Sabbath

Out of all the discography reviews I have done over the years, I am probably the least happy over the one I did on Black Sabbath. Not only did this one take an ungodly time to complete (sure, there are 19 albums to get through, but I was still slow as hell on this one), but I feel like I never gave most of these albums their due. After all, this is the band that started it all, the group that every other metal band who has ever existed has to thank to get this thing called metal rolling, so it is just silly with me being so hap hazard with this particular series (especially the ending, god damn). Well, hopefully I regain some respect back with this ranking, and while most of my thoughts and feelings for these albums are mostly the same, it still gave me a chance to revisit and rethink over what every record tries to do, and what they ultimately accomplish. So strap yourselves in, and watch me rank all 19 studio records of Black Sabbath.

19. Never Say Die!

The end of the original Black Sabbath was far from pretty, and nothing exemplifies that better than "Never Say Die!", the last record Ozzy, Tony, Bill, and Geezer did together. If "Technical Ecstacy" was a full on experiment, this one was just the product of a band that was more than ready to dissolve, with no direction what so ever, and songs that just leaves you clueless. Most of these songs are very much forgettable, or even out right dumb. What is even stranger is that this record, one of the worst ones in the band's entire existence, might have one of the best opening one-two punches of any Sabbath record. If the rest of the record had the same infectious qualities as the title track and "Johnny Blade", maybe the gang would have been together for at least another year or so.

18. Forbidden

I will always be a defender of Tony Martin and his time in Sabbath, he is a great singer who never really got the recognition he deserved, never seemed to step out of Ozzy's and Dio's shadow. With that said, I just cannot defend his (and long time seemingly Sabbath's) last effort "Forbidden". This album is boring in every sense of the word, not improving at all on the sound the band had established during this era, instead leaning on mediocre radio rock with bland riffs and questionable vocal performances. "I Won't Cry For You" and "Rusty Angels" are acceptable, the rest are not. Also, you wanna know what is the most interesting part of this record? Ice-T's cameo in "The Illusion of Power". Now that is a crossover.

17. Seventh Star

I still hate the fact that we have to judge "Seventh Star" as a Black Sabbath record, because this is obviously not a Black Sabbath record. It was originally planned to be a solo album by Iommi (for gods sake, he even fronts the cover art alone), but he was persuaded to release it under the Sabbath moniker. So if you ever wanted a Sabbath record with a generic 80's rock sound that has hints of Yngwie Malmsteen and The Scorpions, then congratulations, you got it... you sick bastard. It still got some nicely crafted guitar work at least, and it shows that Iommi has more under his song writing belt than one might think, but this is as forgettable as it goes. Next please.

16. Born Again

The Ian Gillan era of Black Sabbath was short, but was it sweet? Well, let us call it strange instead, because "Born Again" was exactly that, strange. It is a dark and eerie album that is sort of reminiscent of the band's early work, but because they had Ian on the vocals, it kind of got this glammy vibe to it that got you out of the moment. Do not get me wrong, Ian is a fantastic vocalist, and I love his work on Deep Purple, but he just did not fit in with Sabbath. It did not help either that "Born Again" was a murky enigma of an album, with unclear production and uneven setlist. It has its moments, and there is a section of the fan base that absolutely loves this record, I am just not one of them.

15. Cross Purposes

So I wrote in my old review that "Cross Purposes" had some grunge vibes to it, which made me think "what the hell was I smoking while writing that? Sabbath going grunge? No freaking way". Well, I quickly listened to this album to jog my memory, and sure enough, there is grunge in here ("Virtual Death" could just as well have been an Alice In Chains song). Besides that, there is not all that much that differentiate this album from previous Tony Martin era albums. It is still fairly dark and fairly heavy, but the song writing in here is way more inconsistent, which instantly makes it inferior to the three records before it. It is a strange one, let us just leave it at that.

14. Technical Ecstacy

This is a weird record on so many levels. From the artwork, to the songs, "Technical Ecstacy" makes you wonder if you accidentally ingested said drug before pressing play. There are so many strange elements to this record that should not really work, but somehow it pulls it off quite well with some interesting techniques and fun melodies. Just the Beatles inspired ballad "It's Alright" where Tony plays the piano and sings makes you go "what the hell?", but you can't deny the excellent craft that is behind it. Sure, this is not a metal record what so ever, it is barely a rock record, but it has a charm to it that peaks your interest.


13. 13

This is the only Sabbath record released that I was knowingly aware of during my life time, and looking back at that time, I was definitely bit by the hype bug, enjoying this record more than I should have had. That's not to say that "13" is a bin filled with garbage, it still has some nice energy to it (how Rick Rubin managed to squeeze it out of those oldies I will never know), and it is cool to see the band going back to their roots. Still, this is a spotty record, with some great highlights ("Methademic", "Loner", "God Is Dead?"), and some lows ("Damaged Soul", "Dear Father"), but at this stage of the band, we did not really need much more. This is a fairly solid record, and a worthy final effort for the band.

Also, I swear to god I did not purposely put it on this spot just because of the name, it just happened lol.

12. The Eternal Idol

The Tony Martin era of Sabbath started out with one thing in mind, reestablish the brand of the band. "The Eternal Idol" did just that, giving the band a new identity to evolve on for the future. The album itself is solid, but not much more. It has several cool moments, like the ominous opener "The Shining", the groovy "Hard Life To Love", the fast paced "Lost Forever", and the nostalgic title track. It is not an album that grabs your attention all that much, but it does its work well enough to leave you with some hope for what's to come. It is a start for a band reborn, and it is a good one for sure.



11. Black Sabbath Vol. 4

Out of the first six records, "Vol. 4" is the one that has never clicked for me. It has some amazing tracks like "Supernaut" and "Tomorrow's Dream", and it is daring of the band to try their hand at a traditional ballad in "Changes", but overall it just does not have the star power that the other early records has. It is more inconsistent in its quality, and it also feels like sort of a transitional album, knowing that the first three records are different from the two coming after this one. It is the typical middle child of the original Sabbath era, an album that is perfectly fine and has its moments, but is also easily forgotten.


10. S/T

The album that started it all, the grand daddy of the bunch, the old geezer that will aimlessly tell its life story to all of its children. Okay, that was silly, but there is no denying that "Black Sabbath" is an interesting debut that shook the world in 1970, sending a shock wave that spawned a mad, musical earthquake that has not settled yet. Some songs are definitely dated, but tracks like the title track, "The Wizard", and "N.I.B." still hold up today, almost 50 years later. It may not be a perfect record, but the historical impact this album had on generations to come is something no one can take away from it.


9. Headless Cross

As far as progression goes from the predecessor "The Eternal Idol", "Headless Cross" did not exactly do much different, but the band did amplify the sound enough to make this a natural follow up. It gave the people some more taste of the new singer Tony Martin, and he delivers with power and confidence, seemingly determined to prove the doubters wrong, with the rest of the band helping him out with some stellar performances all around. For the era being, "Headless Cross" is a nice little album, although I do remember enjoying this album more when I first listened to it, and while I still think "Headless Cross" is a solid contribution to the band's discography, it does not stack up to the absolute best of the best.

8. Mob Rules

Following on the wave of the predecessor, "Mob Rules" is another stellar Dio effort that packs quite a punch. From the slow epic "The Sign of The Southern Cross" and the high accelerating "Falling Off The Edge of The World", to the almost thrashy title track, this album has enough awesome moments to spare, showing just how good this group could be. Sadly, this album is a little too uneven for me to fully appreciate it, mixing the previously mentioned classics with completely different tracks, losing the identity of the album in the process. Still, there is enough good bits to make it through the record, and having Dio and Iommi at the wheel helps a lot too. The mob does indeed rule.

7. Master of Reality

There is not much that can go against "Master of Reality" and its A side, including the terrific trio of "Sweet Leaf", "After Forever", and "Children of The Grave". It is a first half that is as banging as any other part of the Sabbath discography, letting everyone shine in all their glory. This does make "Master of Reality" quite front heavy since the B side is not as strong, but there is enough quality on the other side of the LP to make this album another stellar inclusion in Sabbath lore, keeping the fire burning as hot as ever during that early stage of the band's career. Also, Toni's coughing in "Sweet Leaf" might be one of my favourite Sabbath moments of all time, it's so good.

6. Dehumanizer

"Dehumanizer" will always be "that one forgotten Dio album" in the Sabbath discography, and even if it had more of a side project feel to it being squeezed between the Tony Martin albums, it still has enough quality to it to make an impact. Dio by himself makes the album pop, but it is the futuristic feel of the record that truly makes it one to remember. Songs like "I", "Letters From Earth", "Master of Insanity", "Buried Alive" and "Sins of The Father" are classic Dio bangers that makes everyone happy. This one gets the highly coveted "my own personal favourite" award, so while it might not be one of the best ones, it is still a cool album that I keep coming back to.

5. Tyr

Yeeeeeeeah, looking back at my review of "Tyr", I might have been a bit generous with the score, and that I also found this to be the second best Sabbath record is quite laughable. You know what though? "Tyr" is still a brilliant album, and is easily the best one among the 90's records, hammering you with a Mjölner made of expertly crafted songs and slick production. It is an epic onslaught of a band that was finally back at full speed again, showing off some mighty and creative tricks that they had not shown in years. If you are one of those unfortunate souls who dismiss the Sabbath records of this era, then you are sadly missing out on a gem that is not getting enough credit, one that is played regularly at the halls of Valhalla.

4. Sabbath Bloody Sabbath

There is no denying that "Sabbath Bloody Sabbath" is an excellent album, one that has a solid track list of memorable songs. It is very easy to sing along to tracks like "Looking For Today, "Killing Yourself To Live", and the title track, while "Sabbra Cadabra" makes you wanna boogie in a voodoo like trance. It seem to have a strong reputation among the metal crowd, and while I am ultimately not THAT enthusiastic of this record, it is still one of the more solid ones Sabbath has put forth, with no pot holes to drive over to bumpen your experience.



3. Sabotage

The cover of this record probably scared away a ton of people from giving it an honest chance, but it fortunately does not reflect the sound of the record. "Sabotage" might have been the most progressive effort of the band thus far, highlighting some long ass songs like "Megalomania" and "The Writ", while also improving on what worked in the predecessor "Sabbath Bloody Sabbath". The end result is a classy experience of interesting twists and turns that never makes the album dull, offering you new little bits and pieces every time you run through it. Cool album with highly questionable fashion choices (those god damn red pants are an eye sore).


2. Paranoid

This is probably the only album since the discography review that has actually grown on me, weirdly enough. I long felt like "Paranoid" had the "The Number of The Beast" syndrome, with the best songs ("War Pigs", "Paranoid", "Iron Man") being so much better than the rest of the record. Nowadays, I have learned to appreciate tracks like "Planet Caravan", "Hand of Doom", and "Fairies Wear Boots" much more, which has increased my appreciation of the whole album immensely. It is an all time classic that everyone should hear and experience, an assault of excellent early heavy metal. However, "Rat Salad" can still take a hike, will never understand why that instrumental track is contributing to this album.

1. Heaven And Hell

Whenever someone mentions Black Sabbath, I will always look back to that original line-up, to those 8 albums they did together, everything after that is just a remix of the band that started it all. Still, there is no denying that adding Dio after Ozzy's departure was the best thing the band could have ever done. Not only did they get one of the best singers and song writers of that time, they also got some new, fresh blood that could revive the band, and he did that and more with "Heaven And Hell", an album that is a complete master class of how brilliant these musicians were.

It sets the tone instantly with the speedy "Neon Knights", and shows its range just as quickly with the second track, the calmer and moodful "Children of The Sea". The amazing tracks just keeps on coming after that, like the epic title track, the groovy "Wishing Well", the aggressive "Die Young", and the closer "Lonely Is The Word". This is a record I keep coming back to time and time again, because it just delivers on all fronts, displaying music made by devils, for angels. Pure excellence from start to finish.

And as a bonus, here are my ten favourite tacks from the band, in alphabetical order

Children of The Grave
This song has such good riffs that it do not even need a chorus

Heaven And Hell
Pure Dio magic

Iron Man
You can almost not get any more iconic than this

Megalomania
A groovy joyride of high level insanity

N.I.B.
The riffs! OH MY GOD THE RIFFS!

Paranoid
The genius in the simplicity is unreal here

Supernaut
Ward and his drums takes the charge in this groovy gem

The Mob Rules
Stop listening to fools, and listen to this instead

The Sabbath Stones
If you are only going to listen to one 90's Sabbath track, listen to this one

War Pigs
The sound versatility in this song is ridiculous

So what are your thoughts? Is this ranking correct or would yours be different? Let me know in the comment section below, or leave a tweet (@ForsakenGates).

Stay metal
Sharkruisher

From Worst To First: Helloween

Another discography completed here at FaTG, so it is once again time to summarize what we have learned during the journey. Well, we learned that while the Kiske/Hansen era of Helloween was important, it lasted for only a short time, and that the Weikath/Deris era has lasted far longer. We also got to know a band that has become heavier over the years, which is kind of the opposite direction most bands take, and also that they are not afraid to get a little silly, referring to themselves as hamsters, or calling you an asshole. Anyway, Helloween is still a fun and exciting band over 40 years later since their inception, and they have created a lot of quality power metal over those years. The question remains though, which of the 15 full length records is the best, and which are the rest. Time to rank them, and as always, this is my list, and my opinion, which means that I am not right or wrong. Let us get to the list now.

15. Chameleon

This placement was a no brainer, for several reasons. It is the album that ultimately ended Kiske's tenure with the band, and it did so by being as much 80's as possible, despite being released in 1993, while also having very little metal in it. "Chameleon" is an experimental effort made by a band that was as divided as one could be, which led to several weird choices, from progressive influences, to Bon Jovi rip offs. I am all for bands trying to be creative, trying something new, but this particular attempt was a failure from the get go, it never had a chance to be a cohesive, interesting record that would expand the minds of their fan base. Just do like the animal, and disappear in your surroundings, thank you very much.

14. Better Than Raw

I am not exactly sure if this album is what it says, but "Better Than Raw" is certainly not a tasty treat. This album is a full on stew with tons of ingredients that makes a disjointed soup, with very few songs sounding like they were made for Helloween, and more for other bands. We got hair metal, neo classical power metal, and more. I give it some credit that it has a pretty good start with both "Push" and "Falling Higher", but everything after is either bland, or confounding. It was obvious that the band tried some new things, throwing them all at a wall to see if anything stuck to it, but it ultimately ended up with a big mush of mediocre metal. At least the witch on the cover is hot (and technically the cauldron too I guess).

13. My God-Given Right

The band's latest entry is also their most forgettable one. While the previous two albums are worse, they at least had some personality to them that made them stand out (not in a good way, but still). This one however is as bland as you will ever see the band, and with a play time of 1 hour and 13 minutes, it becomes a big slog of a record. A couple of tracks are fairly decent, like the title track and the fun ride that is "Lost In America", but they cannot help "My God-Given Right" to any greater heights. Do not bother with this one, go off plunder some sky mall instead and wait for the band to finish off their "Pumpkins United" tour so they can get to the next record.

12. Pink Bubbles Go Ape

This is a bonkers album on so many levels, from the songs, to that mind boggling cover. Seriously, I still cannot get over the fact that this was made, that everyone involved in this cover looked at each other with straight faces and say "Yes, this is good". What about the music though? It was certainly better than I expected from the first album without Hansen, having a lot of fun really in several tracks. In the end though, it did not have enough staying power to it, and it certainly did not help that the band got away from the epic, medieval themes that made the "Keeper..." albums so successful. An interesting album for sure, but one that is overshadowed by a woman seducing a fish,

11. Gambling With The Devil

There is no other Helloween record that has made me so mad as "Gambling With The Devil" did. Not that it is a bad record, but more for it being an inconsistent record that had a ton of wasted potential. Several songs in here could have been great tracks that would have been fantastic additions to the band's legacy, but they screw it up with songs that are too similar to classics, have lame pay offs, or are just extremely hard to remember. It is still a decent record though, and you can get through it without any problem, but it would be far from the first choice if you had to chose a Helloween album to listen to. This gamble just did not pay off.


10. Keeper of The Seven Keys: The Legacy

Is this album unnecessary? Absolutely, but it still manages to entertain quite a bunch, and some how bring back some of the magic from its predecessors. It is a bloated double record that certainly needed some cutting done, but it does pull you back in to it from time to time with excellent song writing, and even better performances. The band took on this effort as a challenge, to show people that they could still write compelling concept records. "Keeper of The Seven Keys: The Legacy" has its flaws, and the run time keeps me from coming back to it, but it does deserve respect for not dragging the whole series down in the mud, while also delivering some cool moments along the way

9. Master of The Rings

The first Andi Deris record was a return to form for the band, going back to their bread and butter, and make some epic songs out of that. It is an inconsistent record, but maybe that was to be expected for a constellation that was new, that had not really settled down yet in their roles. There is a harmony to "Master of The Rings" that just feels nice, an aura going through this record that just makes you satisfied, and while its life span was not as long as I hoped, it still brings enough enjoyment to go around. With that said, I am still confused over "Take Me Home". Seriously, how can this song NOT be a Van Halen track, it just screams it in both the song structure and the guitar tone. Still a fun as hell track though.

8. Rabbit Don't Come Easy

Just like the rabbit refused to come out of the hat, this album was not easy to put in this list. In one hand, it has a great bunch of tracks that are some of the band's best, but on the other hand it has some real duds, keeping the album from being truly spectacular. I ultimately ended with this place just to be sure that the duo of "Listen To The Flies" and "Nothing To Say" does not influence me all too much. This album is still a great listen, pulling off a lot of cool metal magic tricks that is worthy of an applause. Bet even the rabbit enjoys this one.



7. Walls of Jericho

"Walls of Jericho" is not only the album that kicked off the career of Helloween, it kicked off the power metal genre in general really. It has everything that we associate the genre with, an extremely fast pace, soaring vocals, epic melodies, and some parmesan cheese sprinkled on the top. There is still some more heavy metal elements to this album, so it showed that the sound was not fully completed yet, but as far as a debut get, it did leave an immediate impact that is almost as effective today as it was back then. With Kai Hansen on the vocal duties, it could also be seen as the original Gamma Ray record to, or at least an early look at what the future would hold. No matter how you look at "Walls of Jericho" it is still a nice metal record that delivers a lot of great punches (although I am not sure if those are strong enough to tear down a castle wall, like in the cover).

6. 7 Sinners

Everything is metal about "7 Sinners". The sound is metal, the band is metal, the cover is metal, even the god damn pumpkin in the logo is metal. It takes everything that the band had built up to during the 21st century, and just added another layer of metal coating to it, officially creating the closest to a thrash metal record that Helloween will ever reach. It is simply a solid record that makes sure that the band does not lose its edge after so many years on the scene, showing all of these young guns that they still have a challenge to get past these tough Germans. But despite all of this manly as hell metal that this album offers, it is a god damn flute that steals the show, and I still love it.

5. The Time of The Oath

While the "Keeper..." series is the most famous concept by the band, you should definitely not sleep on what they did with "The Time of The Oath", an album that tries to look into the future and see what it holds for mankind. The fun levels are through the roof here, with some really creative music being displayed throughout the record, and while the momentum does take a few hits here and there, it does not take long for the band to get back on track to amaze us again. If not for anything else, it is at the very least the best concept record about Nostradamus (sorry Judas Priest).



4. Straight Out of Hell

This might be more personal for me since this is the first Helloween album I truly dived into, but I think "Straight Out of Hell" still holds up more than well. This album is just filled with solid as hell songs that makes you scream your lungs out. "Nabataea", "Far From The Stars", "Burning Sun", the title track, "Make Fire Catch The Fly", and "Asshole" are just some of the goodies from this record, helping out to make it one of the most solid releases by the band. Sure, there are a couple of fillers here too, but there is enough quality in here to warrant its full run time, certainly not an album that was originally spawned from hell, more likely that it fell from the heavens.

3. The Dark Ride

Looking back at my review of this album, I might have exaggerated the whole darkness part of the record. Sure, the black on this record is deeper than on its predecessors, but it is still Helloween to the core, so there was not that massive of a difference. Still, "The Dark Ride" did kick off a whole new era of Helloween, an era that saw a heavier sound and less fantasy elements. This strategy ultimately paid off, ending with a record that gave a lot of new juice to a band that was in need of it. It is a rock solid effort with tons of devastating fire power, setting up the band for the new millennium in the best way possible.


2. Keeper of The Seven Keys: Part 1

So to no one's surprise, the top two records are the original "Keeper of The Seven Keys" records, but how do you determine which is the better part? With a decision like this, you ultimately have to go with your gut feeling, and while I do believe that Part 1 have the top two songs ("Twilight of The Gods" and "Halloween"), it also has some of the weaker tracks as well. Still, this album is a thrilling experience that gave us the first taste of what Hansen's magnificent song  writing could be now that Kiske backed him up with his vocals. Man, this is pure power metal bliss, and it certainly feels wrong to put this only at the number two spot, until you realize who is number one...

1. Keeper of The Seven Keys: Part 2

Yes, the younger brother wins this hard fought fight, basically because it has a better song average. It also wrapped up the story in such a marvelous way with the title track that you just cannot go away from it without a lot of satisfaction. This is metal history at its finest, an album that defined its genre and spawned a thousand bands to a path they might not have taken without its emergence. There is just a hell of a lot of things to appreciate over this album, from the high soaring screams on "Eagle Fly Free", the grandness of "March of Time", and of course that iconic guitar riff and chorus combination of "I Want Out". It is a brilliant record from start to finish, and it still stands as one of the strongest power metal records in existence, one that every other album in the genre has to measure up against.

And as always, I am also gonna list my 10 favourite tracks from the band, in alphabetical order

Eagle Fly Free
Cannot turn down this classic, just as epic as ever.

Halloween
13 brilliant minutes of haunting metal mastery.

I Want Out
Cannot turn down this classic ever, just as catchy as ever.

Listen To The Flies
Ha, and you thought I would fill this with only "Keeper..." songs. Nah man, the flies cannot be ignored.

Nabataea
One of the most versatile Helloween tracks, you do not know where it is going at first listen.

Nothing To Say
Putting the reggae element aside, that ending makes it a riser, for sure.

Ride The Sky
Early power metal at its finest, all speed, all confidence.

Shade In The Shadow
A legacy song that actually matches up with its predecessors.

The Departed
I would catch the bullet that was meant for this song every time.

Twilight of The Gods
The guitar wizardy here is real, pure Hansen magic.

So how would you rank this discography? Hit me up on the comment section or on twitter @ForsakenGates, and give your thoughts. Next up, we are taking a trip to France, to see if we can find a big lizard that has a habit of destroying both cities and other monsters.

Stay metal!
Sharkruisher

From Worst To First: Devin Townsend

While waiting for 2019 to truly get going, let us look back at another one of the bands that I have done a discography review on. Well, it is not a band, it is Canadian mad man who seem to be doing whatever the hell he wants, and he does not give a fuck about what anyone thinks about it.

The career of Devin Townsend is one of the most interesting ones you will ever see, a guy who first appeared in the Steve Vai album "Sex & Religion" has gone on to create one of the most influential industrial/thrash bands of all time through pure youthful anger, while also juggling a solo career from the opposite side of the musical stratosphere. Every record he has done has reflected his personality, where he is currently at the long journey of life, making his discography more of a story than anything else. His dedication and unique mind makes him one of the most colorful figures in metal, and it is excitement in the air every time he presents us with a new project. Needless to say, the man is special in so many way, and so is his music.

Devin is also one of the most hard working men in the business, so tackling his discography was no easy feat. From the first Strapping Young Lad record in 1995, the man has released 23 full length albums under 5 different monikers (well, 6 if you count the short lived Ocean Machine), which is a record a year, and this is not including the Steve Vai record, in which he was only an accomplish, or any of his live records, or the "Ass-Sordid" demos. So let us count them down, all 23 of them, and see which is the best and the rest.

23. Devlab

Well... what do I even say about this hunk of junk. "Devlab" should not really be considered as a music album, because it only consists of ambient noises that Devin experimented a lot with. It is a strange experience that will leave you uncomfortable, to the point where you would take any excuse to not listen through it, everything from "I have to take a piss" to "let me take a toothbrush and scrub the living room floor". I guess this was the original intent from Devin, to release something that is way too strange for anyone to handle, and if it was, then I can say he most definitely succeeded... but he could have at least given the tracks individual names at least, that lazy bastard.

22. The Hummer

Just like with "Devlab", "The Hummer" is mostly ambient noise that a normal metal head like me cannot stand, but this record at least feels a little like a music album. It has some production value, it has some structure to it, and there are tiny hints of melody in here. Still, "The Hummer" is a boring ambient record that acts more like a catalyst for the heavier stuff that Devin was doing during that time. Yeah, this is mostly for venting off steam, which is probably why this was not commercially released. This is for the Dev alone, and if you happen to find it enjoying, then good for you.



21. Punky Brüster - Cooked On Phonics

Okay, on to some real music... or maybe not. "Punky Brüster - Cooked On Phonics" is a rather fun concept record, about a black metal band who changes their direction from blackened death metal to pop-punk rock, becoming instant sensations without any dignity left to spare. For a first try, it was obvious to see that Devin had a knack for writing great, comedic concept records. Unfortunately, that is the only good thing I can say, because the record is basically just watered down punk with some comedic lyrics stating how fake it all is. It is obviously what Devin was going for, but that does not make it better.


20. Ghost

Let us put an end to the ambient phase of Devin with "Ghost", one of the four initial albums of the Devin Townsend Project. This album is undeniably the most "normal" music record of the ambient trilogy, and I cannot disagree with the fact that it is a soothing experience, an album that could probably work wonders on a hangover. However, it is still an ambient record, and I am not a guy who likes this much low sounded progress in one place. I want something to happen, I want action, I want some god damn mother flipping metal. All respect to "Ghost", it is a great ambient record, but it is an ambient record nonetheless.


19. Strapping Young Lad

Without a doubt the most faceless record in the Devscography, the self titled Strapping Young Lad record is just like any other SYL effort, a big "holy crap!". However, instead of "Holy crap, this is awesome!", we get "Holy crap, this is lame". Not that this record is not heavy enough to be a true SYL record, it just does not have the impact that the other 4 have. It is just a bunch of forgettable tracks that displayed Devin's lack of interest in the SYL enterprise. With that said, I still love "Force Fed", and still think it is a top 5 song from the band. It's something.



18. Ki

I have never understood the constant praise that "Ki" has gotten over the years. Sure, it might be the ultimate evolution of what Devin wanted to do with his ambient work, and it has its nice moments (most of them include Ché Aimee Dorval), but the album as a whole has never stuck with me. It might be a little too distant for me, trying to be as mysterious as possible, pulling off a lot of progressive elements, losing any sort of structure as a result. Yeah, this is not a record that makes a grand entrance and becomes the talk of the town, but instead hides in the shadows, not doing anything special. Cool Tool-like cover though.


17. Heavy As A Really Heavy Thing

Ahh, the album that started it all, the record that said "What's up fuckers, let's metal!". "Heavy As A Really Heavy Thing" (man, I love that title) is certainly an experience, a jumbled industrial mess of a record that is filled to the brim with groovy rhythms, crunchy riffs, and mad moments that would make anyone mental. It is teenage anger in musical form, and despite its crude production that even trve black metal acts would negate, the music comes off in such an irresistible way. With songs like "S.Y.L", "In The Rainy Season", and most importantly, "Satan's Ice Cream Truck", you simply cannot fail.


16. Casualties of Cool

The (so far) one off project with Ché Aimee Dorval is certainly interesting, an acoustic project with country influences that creates atmospheric music straight from the moon's surface. The chemistry between Dev and Ché is pretty mesmerizing and honest, a collaborative effort of smoothness that is quite exquisite to hear. I was surprised over how much I liked this record, because as you probably know by now, this calm type of music is not really my thing. Yet, the duo managed to draw me in, and keep my interest for longer than I anticipated. I really do hope they will release more from this project in the future, a nice change of pace from time to time.

15. Physicist

The powerhouse "Physicist" was first meant as a collaboration project together with Jason Newsted, but after the rest of Metallica scrapped that idea, Devin just went out and released it himself, in a hurried manor. "Physicist" is not the prettiest album out there, but under the mud lies some great heavy metal that could easily be seen as SYL light. It is a little uneven at times, but it has some fantastic highs like "Namaste" and "Kingdom" that makes the album more than worth it's while. Pretty good for an album that risked to not even see the light of day.



14. Accelerated Evolution
13. Synchestra

Now we enter the most forgotten era of the Dev, the time when he put the word Band at the end of his albums. The Devin Townsend Band was a short lived project that delivered two pretty good records, none of which made any significant impact on Devin's career. They are still both enjoyable, with "Accelerated Evolution" putting some nice speed into those typical song structures only Devin can create, and "Synchestra" putting a more earthly tone to it, like a more symphonic version of "Terria". This duo may not be too much alike, but they do make a nice double feature, meshing well together to really set this project apart. Still though, they just does not have enough interesting material in them to make me wanna pick them up any time soon. At least we have "Vampira" and its wackiness (which is the only reason to why "Synchestra" is ahead of its brother).

12. Z²

To be technical, "Z²" actually contains two albums, so counting this as one entity is a little unfair, but it was released as a double whammy, so it shall be judged as such. "Z²" is easily described as the DTP against Ziltoid, with one half consisting of the high soaring and poppy "Sky Blue, and the other half is a heavy and comedic conceptual sequel to every one's favourite alien lizard. This album is heavy metal's answer to Yin and Yang, both working against and together with each other in a fascinating way. Sure, it is way too big to muster in one go, and there are a bunch of fillers in here, but when the going gets good (like "Fallout", "Silent Militia", "March of The Poozers", and "Ziltoid Goes Home"), it gets extremely good. Indeed.

11. Infinity

This is just insanity in a can, which is pretty telling of the state Devin was in during the recording of "Infinity", a wide ranged album that has a lot of groovy swing to it, you could even dance to some of this madness. It is such a happy album that it can even make such a grim subject as war jolly. Maybe this is an insight of the mind of a mentally insane human being who perceives life in such a euphoric state where no sadness or sorrow exist, except that the brain has completely blocked off those emotions to give its host a false, but happy sight of life. Man, I am overthinking this, it is probably just a fun record.


10. The New Black

For an end to a monumental metal band, this is a strange one, but there is something with "The New Black" that makes me come back to it time and time again. It is probably the fact that it is way too catchy for its own good, going for a surprisingly poppy approach that should not work, but it does. It still has that classic SYL brutality, like the epic crusher "Almost Again" and the Oderus Urungus invaded "Far Beyond Metal", but the overall light nature makes it truly stand out from the rest of the pack, which I guess is a fitting ending for SYL since Devin did not want to continue this band for much longer. It is certainly a spectacular way to go out on.


9. Terria

The most organic of the Devy 23, "Terria" is a celebration to Mother Nature that ends up being one of the most heartfelt records of Devin. There is a ton of slow and epic progressive stuff that crawls under your skin, and it also has enough heavy moments to also bring in the metal fans as well, giving birth to a sound scape that is as unique as Devin himself. This is definitely one of the most beautiful records the man has ever done, and you can hear that a lot of passion has been put through the work. Now if only nature would be this stunning, then maybe I would go out a little bit more. Hmm... let me start up Pokemon Go, see you in a bit.


8. Addicted

Okay, I am back, and my addiction for Devin is still intact, which reminds me, let us talk about "Addicted", which is the start of a fantastic partnership between Devin and Anneke Van Giersbergen. This poppy monstrosity is the catchiest Devin record to date, and maybe his loudest record as well (at least if you believe the song titles), which is possibly putting off some people, but they would miss out on an incredibly fun record that has a lot more quality to it than what you normally hear on your local radio station. Do not like the remake of "Hyperdrive" though, get me back to space god damn it.


7. Alien

If anyone ever ask me "How heavy can heavy metal become?", I will probably just show them "Alien". This record is as massive as you can get, with a sound design that has the density of a solid lead wall and an energy enough to rival the sun. "Alien" could be considered the ultimate SYL record, because how in the hell could they even top this ridiculousness, there is no way that anyone could. Well, the track list could have been a little better, but it is still great enough to force you through this thick layer of screams, riffs, blasts, and chaos. It is truly a shitstorm worth witnessing.



6. Epicloud

All you need to do to understand what type of album "Epicloud" is is to take a peek at the title. This album is truly epic and loud, and everyone involved is completely loving it. Devin, Anneke, the rest of the DTP, and a giant choir puts out a performance of extravagant proportions, drowning out every other sound within your normal ear range. It is a record that some might dislike because it is too over the top, but that is the exact reason to why I love this record, it goes all in with everything it tries to do, from the amazing remake of "Kingdom", the blood pumping speed in "Liberation", or even the more soft and beautiful moments in "Save Our Now" and "Where We Belong". Besides epic and loud, there are two other words that can describe this album perfectly. Effervescent quality!

5. Ziltoid The Omniscient

Well, Ziltoid is probably gonna throw me down to the mining pits for putting his album only at number 5, but there is no denying that "Ziltoid The Omniscient" is just a brilliant album front to back. Sure, it has some plot holes, and there is no human being behind the drums, but with a premise so wacky as an alien who is in the search of the universe's ultimate cup of coffee, it is pretty hard not to get giddy. I also love that all of the music have a distinct space vibe to it, which gets you immersed into the story even more. You feel like you are flying through space in "Hyperdrive", you feel like you are summoning Herman in "Planet Smasher", and you feel the immense realization Ziltoid is going through in "Color Your World". I may not like coffee my self, but I would take a hot cup of Ziltoid any day.

4. Deconstruction

From one crazy concept record to another, "Deconstruction" is just another record that proves Devin has a mind that goes beyond comprehension. Following a man who is searching for all the answers of life and death, "Deconstruction" takes us through hell and back with some fantastic progressive metal that is almost as heavy as SYL's music, expressing a man going through a journey of self insight and complete despair, eventually having to realize that his journey was for nought. With the help from some good friends (Mikal Åkerfeldt, Oderus Urungus, and Jamey Jasta just to name a few), Devin brings us a mad album that flows seamlessly from song to song, creating an incredibly strong and tasty unity that will make your mouth water. Mmmmmm... cheeseburger *drools loudly*.

3. Transcendence

The newest record by the Dev is still one I remember very fondly. It marked the end of the DTP, but did so in the most perfect way, with a record were all of the members were involved in the song writing, creating some sort of Nirvana of a record (not the band kind). It takes the epic nature of the predecessor "Epicloud", and mixes in the sound scape of "Terria", which ends up being a heavenly mix of everything that has led Devin to this point. Okay, it may not have any SYL brutality, any immense progressive moments, or any punk songs about wallets, but everything else is there, and it is all intertwined in such an amazing way. This record truly transcends everything, and it does it with such grace.

2. City

"Oh My Fucking God" indeed, "City" is as metal as metal can get, being incredibly heavy smashing your face in with some of the most crushing sounds you will ever hear. It may not have the massive production that its younger brother "Alien" have, but it makes up for it with a bunch of the most memorable Devin songs ever. We have the all out epic "All Hail The New Flesh", the devastating "Oh My Fucking God", the speed freak "Underneath The Waves", the strange cover of "Room 429", and last, but certainly not least, the galloping beast known as "Detox". This album is complete euphoric madness of the best kind, and it is a surprising grower as well, becoming bigger and bigger every time you take it for a spin. I hear this stupid piece of shit, and I fucking love it.

1. Ocean Machine: Biomech

There are probably a thousand types of Devin Townsend fans out there, coming from just as many backgrounds, and yet they all seem to be unified in the fact that "Ocean Machine: Biomech" is the Canadian's best work. No matter if you got into the mad man through SYL, DTP, or even any of his ambient projects, "Ocean Machine: Biomech" is still the common denominator throughout the fan base. So what is it with this record that makes it so special? Personally, I find it insanely hard to describe through text, this is something that you have to experience yourself. It is a calm and collected album that still has a touch of chaos within, and the flow in this record is just remarkable, rolling on like an ocean wave. Simply put, "Ocean Machine: Biomech" is a magical album, and it kind of sucks that the project Ocean Machine did not last very long, but then maybe this record would not be as special, knowing we could have more like this one. This is prime Devin, this is just the best of the best.

And as a bonus, here are my top 10 Devin Townsend songs, in alphabetical order

Almost Again
A different kind of SYL song, almost a ballad by their standards.

Bastard
10 minutes of pure magic.

Color Your World
An epic finish to Ziltoid's journey.

Detox
Iiiiiiiiiiii got a feeeeeeeeeliiiiiiiiiiing!

Earth Day
Remember to eat your beets, and recycle.

Failure
Oh you can be sure that this is anything but a failure.

Hyperdrive
Space has never felt more lonely.

Kingdom
No matter if it is the "Physicist" or "Epicloud" version, it is full on quality.

Planet of The Apes
This takes us through all seven cycles of hell in 11 minutes, and what a ride it is.

The Death of Music
The chills, oh man the chills.

Stay metal!
Robert "Sharkruisher" Andersson