Philip H. Anselmo & The Illegals - Walk Through Exits Only (2013)

Most of you probably know Philip H. Anselmo as the lead singer of the legendary band Pantera, but Mr. Anselmo has been in several projects since Pantera split-up in 2003. From the successful Down to smaller projects like Superjoint Ritual and Arson Anthem. Now he is back with his first solo album and with him is The Illegals (who consists of drummer Jose Manuel Gonzales, guitarist Marzi Montazeri and bassist Stephen Taylor) who helps out on the instrument department.

The name of the album is "Walk Through Exits Only" and the music on this album could be described as a dark stoner version of Pantera, especially since Anselmo sings with his growling voice again. The only thing that this album is missing from being a lost Pantera release is the song quality.

'Cause that is where the fire is burning. The songs on this album is just a big mosh of sloppy riffs, weird growling and locked up emotions. Sometimes I cannot even tell if it is a new riff or if it was the same one as the one in the previous song. I feel that there is nothing in the music that ties it all together. No glue or rope, just loose parts that have been mashed together. Now I respect what Mr. Anselmo has done in his career, but I do not even know what to say about this release. This is much below his average work.

Ok, so I am going to try to explain some of the songs if I can. Here we go. The album starts with "Music Media Is My Whore", a horrible title and a track filled with snare rolls and theremin sounds, which is not a good combo. The following track "Battalion of Zero" continues the snare rolls, but it has a little more melody in it, which makes it barely listenable. "Betrayed" is trying some grind core shit, but the constant tempo shifting destroys the song completely. "Usurper's Bastard Rant" is a bastard. The title track has some speed in it (the drug, not the thing that Formula 1 cars have). "Bedroom Destroyer" is the only acceptable song with its crunchy and heavy body. "Bedridden" is just mind fucking (the wrong kind). And finally, "Irrelevant Walls And Computer Screens" could have easily been cut in half, but not even then it would be worth listening to. Well, I think I did a good job describing this shit, don't you think?

If you ever see "Walk Through Exits Only" in a record store or in a friends house, please steal it and kill it with plenty of fire. There is very little that is even acceptable on this record. The song writing is bad, the instruments sounds like someone is strangling a toddler, and Mr. Anselmo himself has lost his freaking mind. Actually, the only thing good about this album is that it is only 41 minutes long. But it is still 41 minutes I will never get back. So check out my rating while I look for the nearest emergency exit away from this train wreck of a record.

Song barely worthy of recognition: Bedroom Destroyer

Rating: 1/10 Irrelevant Walls