So "Post-Apocalypto" takes the listener through a wild journey, which includes sex, nazis, sex, space, sex, time travel, and even more sex. Yes, just like with the predecessor "Rize of The Fenix", Tenacious D is once again going way too far with the sex jokes, losing all the impact that these jokes would normally have. I am starting to suspect if the band takes Viagra before going into the recording studio, because the whole first half of the record is just a bunch of loads, blow jobs, dicks, and va-jay-jays. I know I should not take these guys seriously, but come on, grow up a little bit at least.
Trust me though, the story becomes weirder after that, with the D fighting off against KKK members, Donald Jr., Jables Jr., and some weird ass monster called Daddy Ding Dong. Add a Terminator who fights with the D, and a three headed dog named Hope, and you got yourself a jumbled mess of WTF. The whole story is confusing as hell to follow, jumping from one happening to another like Jonathan Edwards takes three steps. The only way to make any sense of it all is if you go on to YouTube, and check out the mini series the band made, filling in the giant plot holes the album left us with, like why Hope started out with two heads but then later he has three, or what the hell a Yo-Yo Ma is.
So with the mini series, the story does make sense, and is admittedly pretty funny, but if you are gonna express this into album format as well, you just cannot leave so many plot holes in, or else the listener will be more lost than the people in Lost. Sure, I do admit that "The Pick of Destiny" had its own share of plot holes, but you could at the very least piece together the story there with some ease. That is something you cannot do with "Post-Apocalypto", there is just too much random shit happening.
Okay, I have talked enough about the story, but the only reason I have done so is that there is barely any music in here to begin with. There is way too many skits in this album, and whenever it finally gets to the music, the band just speeds it through, with no real song being over the 3 minute mark. The worst part is that the music is really good, classic Tenacious D rock that only they can do. The self titled track (and its reprise version) has that blazing "Master Exploder" feel that is so intoxicating, and the band manages to get some nice emotions in there too in "Fuck Yo-Yo Ma", "Hope" and "Making Love". Then we have two curve balls that are so wrong, but feels kind of right. First we have "marCH", an anthem for the KKK that claims that they like BBQs, but hate gays. In today's PC world, I am shocked that this exists, but it is kind of catchy, so..... nope, it is still wrong. Then we have a rap song in "JB Jr Rap", and the rapping is god damn awful, but in a funny way, and the beat itself is pretty sweet. Eh, it beats all the mumble rappers out there at least.
So all of this sums up into a 30 minute record, which is obviously way too short for a band that has had six years to make this record. "Post-Apocalypto" does have its moments of brilliance, but the fact that it is short as hell, have more holes than a Swiss cheese, is confusing as it can be, and that it feels like parts of it were done by a 10 year old makes this whole album a huge disappointment. I like the idea that they went for a concept record again, and the whole "End of the world" story is not bad, but it is presented really poorly unless you have watched the YouTube videos. JB, KG, I love you guys, but if a Terminator wielding a chainsaw-bazooka-machine-gun could not save this album, nothing could.
Songs worthy of recognition: Fuck Yo-Yo Ma, Post-Apocalypto Theme, Take Us Into Space
Rating: 4/10 Daddy Ding Dongs
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