Psychostick - Do (2018)

Comedy is said to be one of the hardest things to pull off, especially in a consistent basis for a long time, which is probably why most comedic acts out there are either short lived, or has faded away in some way or form. So a band like Psychostick should definitely get a lot of respect for continuously providing their fans with really funny content, either it be a brilliant way to promote a show or a new shirt, or in this case, a whole new album. Eh, maybe it is just dumb luck that these guys are now releasing their 5th studio album, but that does not take away the fact that it is quite a feat to reach this far.

So with an epic title like "Do", you would expect some of the most complex and awesome shit that your ear holes have ever encountered. Well, you will have to settle with what Psychostick does best, mixing smart parodies and fun takes on every day problems with a lot of silly stuff, all packaged in an album that have tons of catchy grooves, and is drenched with passionate fun juice flowing from all of the four band members (that sounds kind of gross now that I think about it).

I kind of hate to say it, but a lot of the songs in "Do" hits a little too close to my heart, not because they are great songs, but because they kind of describe me. These songs are about being an introvert with low self esteem, having dreams of just play video games all day long, being as comfortable as possible. This probably makes me laugh even more at these songs, mostly because the band does such an amazing delivery in the comedic timing and the groovy rhythms that accompany the fun lyrics. Close to all of the songs tell a story as well, like in "Introvert Party Time" where the main guy just wants to stay at home, but gets forced to socialize, leading to an unexpected ending that I just cannot spoil.

Then we have the handful of songs that are just extremely silly, not really serving any purpose besides making you smile. Songs like "Tuesday", "Do", "Keys", and "Bacon, Egg, & Cheese On Toast W/ Shiracha" are empty calories that you happily digest in your brain, humming along to them from time to time. Just a song like "Thinkin' With Yer D" is incredibly stupid, but I have hummed its infectious melody so many god damn times, and I am not ashamed of it one bit. I think only the "Ducktales" theme is more infectious (fuck, now I got that in my brain).

As stated before though, there is a lot of smart stuff in here as well, and most of that can be found in the slower songs. "Stream Stutter" talks about the pain when you are not level with your spouse on a show, and "Rent In Peace" is a brilliant parody on 90's Metallica, while singing about video rental stores. The ace in the sleeve however is, as always when it comes to Psychostick, songs about hate, and I think they have outdone themselves this time with "From The Heart", a heartfelt ballad with a simple and timeless message, that I fucking hate you. The perfect song to send to your enemy.

The most laughs actually did not go to a song, but one of the three skits. All skits (all having titles that start with "Got_No_Breaks") is about the band working on a song about unstoppable motivation, and while the first and third part are fun, they did not come close to the extreme amount of air gasping laughs that the second part got. Every time Matty Moose goes "It's never been done before", I just lose my mind over the mad stupidity that is happening. that skit alone outweighs the few low points of the album, like "Uhhhnngg", "Gurrrrr", the obligatory outtakes, and that strange T-Pain parody "Flop" at the end of the record. I just did not get that last one at all.

So even if "Do" does not meet the pure epicness of its title, it might be one of the most complete Psychostick albums up to this date. The previous 4 albums have all been really fun to listen to, but they have had a bunch of blanks thrown in that does make them feel like Swiss cheese. "Do" is more like Gouda, it is easy to take in and remember, and while it might not be the most complex experience you have ever had, it is one you would like to relive again and again. What more needs to be said other than that "Do" is fun as hell, and it brings a smile to your face every time you turn it on. To quote those famous words uttered by Shia LaBeouf, "What are you waiting for? JUST DO IT!".

Songs worthy of recognition: Introvert Party Time, Adulting, From The Heart, Thinkin' With Yer D, Rent In Peace

Rating: 8,5/10 Keys

www.psychostick.com/
twitter.com/psychostick

More reviews of Psychostick
IV: Revenge of The Vengeance

Daron Malakian And Scars On Broadway - Dictator (2018)

Ever since System of A Down reunited a bunch of years ago, we fans have patiently waited for the group to come together and make the long awaited follow up to "Mezmerize" and "Hypnotize", but so far to no avail. Apparently, singer and guitarist of the band Daron Malakian have felt the same way, and has seemingly snapped, probably shouting "Oh yeah! Well I'll make my own album, with Black Jack and hookers!" while leaving the room. So thus he finally unveiled the sophomore effort of his side project Scars On Broadway... of sorry, it seems like he has changed the name to Daron Malakian And Scars On Broadway... why the hell did he do that? Was he not in the band before so he had to make sure he get some credit at least?

Well, "Dictator" is finally here at least, and I really mean finally, because this album was recorded back in 2012. The reason it has not seen the light of day until now is only because of the SoAD reunion, so Daron could focus more of his attention to that. With that said, he did admit that several of the songs on "Dictator" could just as well have been SoAD songs with a little tweak here and there, which comes as no real surprise since I think everyone who knows of the existence of Scars On Broadway sees the band as a little brother of Daron's main band.

The only real differences between a Scars On Broadway album and a SoAD album is that Daron handles all of the vocal duties, and that it is more classified as heavier rock than metal. Otherwise it is pretty much the same, we got tons of groovy riffs and beats that will make you sway different parts of your body, the intoxicating vocal gymnastics that sticks like glue, and a ton of social commentary to boot. So yeah, there is really no question here, this is basically the closest to a real SoAD album we will get in some time.

One thing I do think this album shows is just how big of an influence Daron actually is for SoAD, putting out a strong effort that just as well could have been the 6th SoAD album. There are just so many memorable songs in here that you could easily follow along with at second listen, like "Never Forget", "We Won't Obey", and the title track. And even though it is not the best song of the bunch, "Angry Guru" does put out an annoying groove that you kind of hate, but kind of also love, and it is only enhanced with the reoccurring line "Nobody hates you more than I do, Nobody loves you more than you do". It is that kind of semi silly groove that only Daron could make acceptable.

To balance things out, we also got some serious stuff thrown in, songs like "Guns Are Loaded", "Till The End", and even to some degree "Never Forget" all have less intensity in them, but instead has power in the lyrics and atmosphere to really reach out to the listener. It is all what you would expect from a release like this, which is kind of curious since Daron has stated that each Scars On Broadway album is gonna have its own style, possibly different guys on each release. As far as I can hear, there is very little difference between this, and the self titled debut record from 2008, so that might be he only disappointing thing about this record, but I think it matters very little since it has been a full decade since we last heard anything resembling SoAD (not including Serj's more symphonic solo records).

So for an album that is six years old, and is basically only released because another band won't release anything new, I dug "Dictator" quite a lot. Sure, Daron does not exactly expand his musical mind here, but he is accurate in his punches, and those punches hit hard I tell you. With the current state of SoAD, we should be happy with the few straws we get, and this will certainly quench your thirst for some groovy alternative hard rock. The grapevine has also told me that Daron will not let the third album take another 10 years, so he will get into the studio as soon as this August. It is a bold strategy, let us see if it pays off.

Songs worthy of recognition: Never Forget, Dictator, Talkin Shit, We Won't Obey

Rating: 8/10 Angry Gurus

scarsonbroadway.com/
twitter.com/scarsonbroadway

Between The Buried And Me - Automata II (2018)

With the disappointment of the first "Automata" record having settled down, it is now time for Between The Buried And Me to unveil the second part to this series about dreams, social media, and the wonders of the human mind. It is a second part that has the tough task in convincing me why this record was split into two parts and why they needed to have two separate release dates. Well, here goes an early spoiler, it did not convince me, it almost made me even angrier over this dick move.

Okay, calling it a dick move might be a little excessive, but it just does not make sense in splitting "Automata" in half. If it was packaged in a double album, sort of like the latest Metallica record, I would have been more fine with it, and I do understand that some people might not have an easy time to digest a full BTBAM experience, but presenting it like two full length albums and forcing your fans to pay full price for both is just awful, especially since this second part is even smaller than the first, having only 4 songs and a playtime of 33 minutes. Those are EP numbers for any progressive metal band, you just cannot get enough satisfaction from it.

With that said though, I have to say that these 33 minutes are filled with a lot of quality. While the first part was kind of safe, not taking us too far away from our safe zone, this second part is going wild with its imagination. It is BTBAM at their best, being playful in the instrumentation, while still keeping the focus through all the twists and turns the band takes us through.

The opening track "The Proverbial Bellow" starts where "Blot" left off, and it does so with some sweet melodic riffing, signed by Paul Waggoner and Dustie Waring. It picks up some pace before settling down in a typical BTBAM middle ground, where Tommy Giles Rogers leads the way with his vocals, and the rest of the guys takes it easy to prepare for the next assault, doing so a couple of times. It is far from the most extravagant song that you will here from the band, but it is still highly enjoyable to listen to, making it an optimal album starter (even if 13 minutes is a little too meaty for something that is far from special).

After that comes the interlude "Glide", which actually has some meat to it, taking you to some bistro in France, leads you in among all the smoke and wine to a seat in front of the small stage. Then the band comes flying out in the form of the most fun song of the two albums, "Voice of Trespass". This is an 8 minute high paced jazz bonanza that is completely out of its mind. Blake Richardson is going wild behind the drum kit, Tommy goes full "ba-da-ba-da", and hands, heads, and feet nearby twitch with a frightening force. Best of all though might be that we get a return of the unexpected xylophone, which we first heard on "Extremophile Elite" in "The Parallax II". The second half of the track does slow things down a bit, but the impact that first half has is simply marvelous, easily making "Voice of Tresspass" one of my favourite BTBAM tracks of all time.

The last track of the record, "The Grid", takes the whole concept home with a delicate approach, where Tommy shows some nice emotional abilities, not with his voice, but with his keyboard that takes its time for every note, giving the "Automata" series that epic ending it truly deserves. And after listening to both these records, I still cannot understand why they were separated at birth. Together they make a very serviceable concept record that sits at around 68 minutes, which is not an awful lot considering what other bands has put out in recent time (*ahem* Therion *ahem*). It flows nicely, it has an interesting story, and as always when it comes to BTBAM, the craft is exquisite, so sawing it in half just does not feel right.

If it was released as one solid record, I would probably say that it is a very nice BTBAM album, that the first half might be a bit sluggish, but the steam it picks up around the 40 minute mark makes it all worth while. It is a solid record that might not measure up with the best of the band, but it is certainly nothing to be ashamed about. So overall, nice try lads, but please release it all in one go next time, and as a single unit. Your fans are not made of money you know.

Songs worthy of recognition: Voice of Trespass, The Grid

Rating: 8/10 Proverbial Bellows

www.betweentheburiedandme.com/
twitter.com/btbamofficial

More reviews of Between The Buried And Me
The Parallax II: Future Sequence
Coma Ecliptic
Automata I

From Worst To First: Metallica albums

So our journey through the discography of Metallica is now over, and unlike my previous look backs, I will just settle with a simple ranking of the album, mostly so I can stop myself from rambling too much. But before we go into the ranking, what did I learn from Metallica's roller coaster of a career. Well, they have maximized every opportunity they have gotten to become even bigger, gaining a fan base that goes well beyond the realms of regular metal heads, even if some quality had to be sacrificed along the way to fulfill those prophecies. I also learned that this is one tough band, having dealt with death, betrayal, and a lot of other shit over the years, but some how have gotten out of the tunnel stronger than ever. Yes, Metallica is a metal band that could be seen as larger than life, one that everyone knows of and has an opinion about, no one is left untouched. A true telling that their music is important, whether you like it or not.

Anyway, enough rambling, let us rank the albums, from worst to first, and just like the review series, I only count original full length albums by the band, so you will not see "Garage Inc." (because it is a cover album), "S & M" (because it is a live album), or "Lulu" (because it is more of a Lou Reed record, but we all know where that would have landed if I included it).

10. St. Anger

Out of all the ten records Metallica has done over the years, there is no album that is sparked as much discussion as "St. Anger". This angry record was the bi-product of the band's inner struggles, creating a complete mess that no one could enjoy, not the thrash lovers of the 80's, nor the fans that got into the band during the more mainstream 90's. For many, it is even in the running for the worst metal album ever created, and while I personally do not think "St. Anger" is wretched enough to be in that particular discussion, I honestly can see why others would. It is a chapter of Metallica we all would like to forget.


9. Load
8. Reload

Separating the "Load" and "Reload" records apart is a tough task since they are basically twin brothers, being written at the same time and released one year apart from each other. Both are overly long and boring, filled with a lot of failed experimentations that (fortunately) did not make a lasting impact in the future sound of the band. I like "Reload" slightly better since it has a couple more interesting ideas, it has the two best songs in "Fuel" and "The Unforgiven II", and it is a little shorter. Still, the improvement is minimal, so it cannot crawl out of the bottom tier of this ranking.

7. Hardwired... To Self-Destruct

It has been almost two years now since this record was released, and it seems like it is the first Metallica record since "The Black Album" that has at least gotten a stamp of approval from the metal community. "Hardwired..." certainly turns out some strong material and show that the fire in the band burns stronger than ever. The reason it is this low though is because it is the most inconsistent Metallica record to date, with some magnificent highs like "Moth Into Flame", "Spit Out The Bone", and "Halo On Fire", but it also has some unbelievable lows like "ManUNkind" that just kills the flow of the record. I really do not like that it is split into two discs as well, but that is more of a minor issue. Great that you guys seem to like this one, and to some extent, I do too, as long as I can skip some of the tracks.

6. ...And Justice For All

Now this album is a classic, an album that has spawned several amazing songs like "One", "Dyers Eve", and "The Frayed Ends of Sanity", so naturally it should be higher up on these rankings if it was not for one crucial flaw. Yes, I sound like a broken record when I say that the production on "...And Justice For All" is garbage, but it is the most glaring problem with this record, one that cannot be ignored all that easily. It is the only thing holding this album back from reaching those crazy levels that both "Lightning" and "Puppets" reached, and it is still a discussion about who is to blame for this mistake. It is still a strong record, and it is only down here because it faces some stiff competition, a testament on how good Metallica actually has been.

5. S/T (aka The Black Album)

Since it is the most popular metal album to date, "The Black Album" automatically becomes overrated simply because there are more people speaking up against it. While I am kind of with these naysayers that this album does not deserve the immense success that it has gotten, it is still a record with a lot of quality in it. Yes, songs like "Nothing Else Matters" and "Sad But True" are just boring, but we have several songs like "Enter Sandman", "Wherever I May Roam", and "Of Wolf And Man" that still hold up very well today, showing a new side of the band that we have not seen before. We cannot ignore the importance of this record, and even if it is not as good as the sales numbers suggest, it is still a pretty darn good effort from the band.

4. Kill 'em All

Ahh, the dirty little debut record that put the band on the map. "Kill 'em All" has a very primal feeling to it that really makes it stand out amongst its more polished brethren, speaking a good tone to that inner caveman. The simplicity in riffs and song structures merges really well with the aggressive tone the band had during their early days, setting up for great success in the future. Gotta give some credit to Dave Mustaine though here, because "Kill 'em All" is basically a Megadeth record, this just would not have been the same without MegaDave.



3. Death Magnetic

So this is probably my most controversial placement in this edition of "From Worst To First", but I have to be brutally honest here, I freaking love this record. "Death Magnetic" is a fun as hell ride from first to last minute, showing off some fantastic riffs and solos along the way, stuffing your ears full with it like a turkey gets stuffed with stuffing on Thanksgiving. It is an album that I know as well as the back of my hand, I know every riff, word, and tempo change in here, and I would not want the band to change any of it... well, with the exception of that 10 minute instrumental "Suicide & Redemption", fuck that song.


2. Master of Puppets

A lot of hearts will be broken here when I have to decide which of the two clearly best Metallica albums gets to be the first loser, and I am sorry "Master of Puppets", but you are the runner up. It is still a brilliant album through and through, kicking a ton of ass with a lot of challenging songs, both length wise and through complexity in riffs and structure. I do not think there is any metal head who can dismiss the title track and its massive nature, the highly addictive main riffs, the tempo shifts midway through the song, the seemingly endless solo, and those classic words that is burned into most of our brains. "Master, Master, Master of Puppets pulling your strings". Oh how they pull mine.

1. Ride The Lightning

"Ride The Lightning" is the perfect bridge between the simplistic "Kill 'em All" and the progressive "Master of Puppets", combining the two styles into one magnificent record. It has the aggression in songs like "Fight Fire With Fire" and "Trapped Under Ice", but it also has the smart delicate delivery in the title track and "Fade To Black". And to top it all off, the band pulls out some extremely creepy emotions in the instrumental "The Call of Ktulu", like it is a ritual taken straight from the "Nekronomikon" to start the apocalypse. Man, this album has it all, it has every little bit in what makes Metallica such a great band, and for them to gather it all into a single record is nothing but an incredible achievement. A magnificent masterpiece of near perfection.

And as a bonus, here are also my 10 favourite Metallica tracks, in alphabetical order

All Nightmare Long
That second solo alone gives it a spot here.

The Call of Ktulu
One of the best instrumentals out there.

Fade To Black
The emotions are taking over completely.

Fight Fire With Fire
Speed! Shredding! More speed!

Master of Puppets
It is the master for a reason.

No Leaf Clover
A very underrated song made exclusively for the "S & M" record.

One
No other song has turned up the intensity so god damn well.

Ride The Lightning
A early rendition of "Master of Puppets" is still a fantastic rendition.

Wherever I May Roam
Wherever it may roam, I shall follow.

Whiplash
It makes me act like a maniac.

So now that that is settled, let us attack another band. I think I am a little hungry for some German power metal.

Until next time, do not forget to stay metal.
Robert "Sharkruisher" Andersson

Metallica - Death Magnetic (2008)

So after the extremely turbulent time during the making of "St. Anger", Metallica was ready to move on. First on the agenda, recruit a new bassist, and after a three month long search, the band settled down on Robert Trujillo, who at that time was most known from Suicidal Tendencies and being the touring bassist for Ozzy Osbourne. Looking back at it, I think most of us are happy the band chose Trujillo, he is a fantastic showman on stage, and did bring some extra energy to the band, which was certainly displayed on their 9th studio effort, "Death Magnetic".

To help out the band in the recording process, they reached out to Rick Rubin to produce the record. Rick ordered the band to go back and listen to their older stuff, to be inspired when the time for writing was nigh. The result ended up being kind of a direct opposite to the primal nature of "St. Anger". Instead of simple, angry songs with no solos, "Death Magnetic" offers a style that is more like "...And Justie For All", long and complex songs with riffs to the absolute brim.

So all is well, right? Wrong, because everyone started to find new ways to complain. The songs are too long, they all sound the same, the production is way too clean. Out of those three main complaints, I can only really agree with the last one. Sure, Rick Rubin did a nice job on the production, but just like with most of his recent productions, the cleanliness takes away the soul and personality of the album, turning it into a sparkling clean machine, something that certainly does not fit Metallica. It does not bother me that much though, but I would have liked it even more if it had some dirt under its nails.

As for the two other complaints, I can only agree to disagree. Sure, the songs are long, and so is the album (1 hour and 14 minutes), but unlike "Load" and "Reload", there is a pace to the songs that makes that time go by much more smoothly. Instead of getting bored to death, you fly by at the speed of sound, so while the "Load" brothers might feel like 1 and a half hours, "Death Magnetic" feels more like it sits just around the hour mark. And while I do understand that there are similarities between the songs in structure, they still have their own personalities thanks to the riffs, solos, and choruses being as strong as they are. Songs like "End of The Line", "That Was Just Your Life", and "The Judas Kiss" certainly have a similar feel, but are still strong, catchy efforts.

This is certainly no flatline record, and one song that definitely shows that is "All Nightmare Long", a riff fest that transitions smoothly from segment to segment, turning out one of the heavier performances from the band in several albums. Also, that second solo gives me the goosebumps every time, makes we wanna live this nightmare over and over again. Then we have "The Unforgiven III" as another stand out, and it is pretty clear that the "Unforgiven" series are sort of like the "Toy Story" movies. The first one was good, second one was arguably better, and the third one is the best, but both number two and three are completely unnecessary. I do like though that there is a new structure to this song, even if the opening piano intro is overstaying its welcome.

Unfortunately, we also do have some lows in here. Besides the production, I feel like the song "Cyanide" could do better with a tougher chorus, the current one is really lame. It is not as lame as the instrumental track though, because "Suicide & Redemption" is literally all suicide. This is a 10 minute instrumental that repeats itself a couple times too many, and never really seems to go anywhere. There is no real emotion to the song, so it becomes an agonizing slog. Worst part is that it might have the best solo in the entire album, buried 6 minutes into the song, with Kirk taking the first half and James the second, creating a sort of guitarist duel that is cool to see. Two guys, same segment, two completely different solos.

Despite those issues, I still love this album to death. This is an extremely consistent record that knows what it is, and knows what it want to accomplish. After a bunch of bad and boring records, "Death Magnetic" was the fun pill that not only the band needed, but that the fans needed as well. It is not a full on back track to the glory days (I consider this to be more of a straight up heavy metal record than a thrash one), and it might be one of the less experimental albums from the band in a while, but there is one simple fact it has going for it, it kicks ass, a lot of it. That is good enough for me, time to take it for another spin (minus the instrumental).

Songs worthy of recognition: All Nightmare Long, The End of The Line, The Unforgiven III, The Judas Kiss

Rating: 8,5/10 Cyanides

metallica.com/
twitter.com/metallica

More reviews of Metallica
Kill 'em All
Ride The Lightning
Master of Puppets
...And Justice For All
S/T
Load
Reload
St. Anger
Hardwired... To Self-Destruct

The World Cup of Metal: Group H

So we have finally reached the end of this series that I definitely should have started before the World Cup even began, but I am a spontaneous bastard (great band name btw). I hope you enjoyed it, because I certainly did, discovering a lot of other bands and cultures. Four countries are left though, so let us get to them.

Colombia

The darlings of the 2014 World Cup are back again to once again win everyone over with their exotic style, and there is certainly reason to believe that they can reach as far, if not further, this time. James Rodriguez is back, getting a much needed confidence boost in his short stint in Bayern, Falcao finally gets the chance to play a World Cup to, and we got one of the most intriguing centre back pairings in Davison Sanchez and Yerry Mina. This is certainly a dark horse, one that can take it all the way.

So when it comes to metal, it gets a little awkward, because the biggest metal band out there are... not something we should really discuss. The recent allegations of the blackened thrash metal band Inquisition and its frontman Dagon about child pornography is a really touchy subject, and not something that should be encouraged. It does not help the fact that Dagon also has a history of being a Nazi, so let us leave this band, never to speak of them again, and see what else Colombia has to offer.

Well, it is mostly death and black metal from this South American country, with some of the stand outs being Internal Suffering and Thy Antichrist. Not my personal cup of tea, but they have obviously found their fans. While there seem to be a healthy amount of bands from the country, there is not a lot of true stand outs that have punched their way into the sphere. Hopefully, that will change in the near future.

Japan

Yeah, Japan has seen some better days. Some of their biggest players (like Honda, Okazaki, and Kagawa) are reaching the end of their careers, while there are few talents who can cover for them. Looking at the roster, there is a lot of routine here that play all over Europe, but it will take some real effort to even make it through the group stages. I am interested to see Takashi Inui though, he has had some good seasons in the Spanish club Eibar, so maybe he is the one that shall lead the Japanese to glory. That samurai mentality is much needed here.

Well, let us start this discussion by bringing up the hottest things that has come out of Japan since Anime. The entertaining, but also controversial, three-piece Babymetal has taken the world by storm with their unique blend of heavy Slipknot like beats, and cutesy J-pop. It is a combo that brings out the cringe in about 95% of all metal heads, but once you get into it, it gets sort of infectious. Not saying that Babymetal is the new coming of Judas Priest (even with the blessing from the Metal God himself), but they certainly have the potential to reshape the landscape. In other words, this is as much Japan as it can ever get, and for every face palm song like "Karate" and "Gimme Chocolate", there is a "Megitsune" that will blow your brain away.

But before Babymetal, there has been a pretty good amount of Japanese that has come out to the scene successful. We got the death/black metal band Sigh, a lot of power metal from Galneryus, Blood Stain Child, Versailles, and X Japan, some more alternative styles from Dir En Grey, some drone from Boris, and some classic hair metal from Loudness. There is a lot of interesting, passionate, and really fun Japanese metal out there, which really is a reflection on their fan base that is said to be wild as hell. As said, Japan is fun, and it is a dream of mine to go to one of their metal festivals, hopefully dying with a shit eating grin on my face while I get destroyed by that mosh pit.

Poland

Well Poland, it is finally time for you to show what you are made of. This golden generation, which includes stars such as Lewandowski, Blaszczykowski, Piszczek, and Szczesny, have not really accomplished anything. This is the first World Cup they have qualified for since 2006, and their best Euro record is a quarter final two years ago. A lot of the pressure will be on the shoulders of Robert Lewandowski, a magnificent goal scorer in is club Bayern Munich, and he scored 16 goals in the qualifiers. His knack for getting those goals will be needed if Poland shall reach their first play off game in the World Cup since 1986.

The Polish metal scene is as strong as ever, with a whole bunch of big guns. The BFG is still Behemoth though, and there is really no reason why they should not be, the quality that Nergal and his crew produce is simply amazing. Together with these masters of black metal we have the even more experienced death metal legends Vader, technical death giants Decapitated, progressive veterans Riverside, and yet another good death metal band in Hate.

It is certainly obvious that death and black metal is the forte of Poland, with Mgla, Batushka, Vesania, and Azarath as other examples. We got some good progressive metal as well, with Lunatic Soul and Blindead. Otherwise I can recommend the heavy metal band Crystal Viper, crossover thrashers Acid Drinkers, and sludge band Obscure Sphinx. Polish metal is surely in good hands for years to come.

Senegal

There are few teams in this World Cup that I am as excited to watch than Senegal. Despite this only being their second tournament (first one was in 2002), Senegal has an incredibly fun attitude that shows on and off the pitch. All 23 players are truly enjoying themselves, taking in every bit of the moment. Then we look at the roster, and we see that there is a good amount of talent to back it up. Biggest star is Liverpool forward Sadio Mane, who have enjoyed a strong season, and he is joined by guys like M'Baye Niang, Salif Sane, Idrissa Gueye, and Kalidou Koulibaly. They will certainly be dancing into Russia, will they do the same when they leave?

Well, we got a Nigeria situation over here. There seems to be little to no metal scene in Senegal, with no bands registered in Metallum, and no real articles found. Sooooooooo... next segment please.

Thoughts on group

Both Poland and Japan have an impressive amount of quality bands, more than I originally imagined, while Colombia was kind of underwhelming. Senegal... yeah, let us not speak of them.

Reaction on competition

I called this the group of death, and it certainly delivered. Colombia went through as the winner, despite losing the first game, and Senegal and Japan was so even that for the first time ever, we had to use the fair play rules to separate them. Japan got fewer yellow cards, so they went through. Shame, I really love the joy that Senegal brought to the game.

The World Cup of Metal: Group G

Getting close to the end here, but we still have two groups left to cover, starting with Group G.

Belgium

This is it, the last stand for Belgium's golden generation. This is a team that is literally overflowing with creative talent, with players like Eden Hazard, Kevin De Bruyne, Romelu Lukaku, Dries Mertens, Thibaut Courtois, and many more. They have played together in a couple of tournaments now, and never really succeeded, reaching the quarter finals in the 2016 Euros as their best placement (eliminated by Wales!). This is their time, all or nothing, make it or break it, going balls to the wall. Time to rise up Belgium, a better shot than this will not open up for a long time.

So Belgium has a pretty good amount of good metal bands out there, because when you think about Belgium, metal does not seem to be that big over there. Well, a bunch of bands are here to prove us wrong, starting with the highly respected death/grindcore band Aborted, who in their 20+ years of existence have piled up a good number of releases (9, with a 10th on the way), and quite a reputation. Does not seem like the rest of the country caught on though, since the rest of the higher profiled bands are all over the place, genre wise.

We got some black metal from Enthroned and Ancient Rites, some power from Iron Mask and Magic Kingdom, some doom from Thurisaz, Pantheist, and Amenra, and then we also have some speed metal from my personal favourites Evil Invaders. If you still have not listened to their last year sophomore record "Feed Me Violence", you should, it is some fantastic high quality speed metal. So yeah, Belgium is surprisingly diverse, but not too deep. Still, there are some bands out the wings trying to break through, and with a little luck, they might.

England

Every tournament is the same for the country where football was born. Everyone has some doubt in the team before the tournament, which eventually turns into extreme cockiness when the team starts off well. And then they usually get eliminated on penalties, probably against the Germans. It is an seemingly endless cycle that Gareth Southgate and his young squad is going to try to break, and while a couple of positions are pretty thin, there is certainly quality to go around. The magnificent goal scorer Harry Kane leads the charge, together with a lot of Tottenham team mates (Alli, Dier, Trippier, Rose), a bunch of speedy guys (Sterling, Walker), and a Harry Maguire, who watched the national team in the 2016 Euros as a fan. As always, it will be mighty interesting to see this England squad, even if it might disappoint you in the end.

Just like with football, England is where metal was born, with bands like Led Zeppelin, Black Sabbath, Motörhead, Iron Maiden, and Judas Priest leading the hard working middle class to the magic of heavy music. England is still a big power in metal, and the growth is still good, so I am just gonna name a bunch of bands (like I did with Sweden and Germany in group H), and leave it at that.

So we got Anathema, Cradle of Filth, Paradise Lost, Porcupine Tree, My Dying Bride, Carcass, DragonForce, Alestorm, Napalm Death, Venom, Anaal Nathrakh, Saxon, Rainbow, Electric Wizard, King Crimson, Haken, Evile, TesseracT, Sylosis, Threshold, Gloryhammer, Bring Me The Horizon, Killing Joke, Hell, Slugdge, SikTh, Satan, and... *gulp* Asking Alexandria. Probably missed a few, but you can remind me if I did.

Also, not counting Bullet For My Valentine because they are from Wales (would not be surprised if any of the bands I mentioned were too though, once again, feel free to correct me).

Panama

It is always fun to see a small nation get into the World Cup, but if I have to be honest, I do not think Panama deserved it. Sure, they have a ton of heart, and did a lot of work to reach this stage, but they had a couple of lucky breaks along the way, like team USA performing really poorly, and getting a goal that was clearly not a goal. Still, I do not think Panama will have much in this competition to do, but they are probably just happy to be here, maybe hoping to score a goal or two, maybe even steal a point. Glad to have you guys here.

So, not surprisingly, the metal scene in Panama is not very big as well. What is curious though is that there seems to be three different types of bands from here. Bands that never really got any footing to begin with (just releasing demos or EPs), bands that started out in the 90's or early 00's, but eventually died off, and bands that has just started their journey. Not a lot of consistency here, as you could probably tell, with no band having a steady release flow or developed fan base. I still picked out three recently active bands for you guys to check out, the thrash metal band Atrofia, the heavy metal band Still Louder, and power metal band Valkeryon, all are decent bands that probably will speak to some of you, so some hope are still there for Panama's metal scene, even if it is not much to behold.

Tunisia

North Africa certainly had a good qualifier, with 3 of the 5 African teams here coming from that region. Out of the three (the remaining being Egypt and Morocco), Tunisia might be the weakest team, but they still have a good amount of technical skill that should keep them from being pushovers. The key for their success might be the defence, since the road to the play off will have to go through Belgium and England. Are they organized enough to make such a feat happen? I doubt it, but I would be glad if I am wrong.

While there is no star in their national team, they do have a band that every Tunisian can look up to. The oriental prog metal band Myrath is the clear leading force for Tunisian metal, and all of their four studio effort are a big proof of that. This is an excellent band that might have been in the shadows of Orphaned Land a little too long, but they deserve their credit, so go listen to them right now.

It definitely seems like Progressive metal is the jam of Tunisia, because there are a bunch of these bands here. Some of the better ones out there are Brood of Hatred, Lost Insen, and Nawather, and all of them are just in the beginning of their careers, and have their own special touch. I also wanna mention the symphonic group Persona and the doom/death band Omination, two completely different bands that also are just in the starting stages. Tunisian metal is certainly on the uprise.

Thoughts on group

England is the juggernaut here, no question about that. The rest is kind of middle of the road, even if Belgium has some fire power to throw at you. Definitely not my favourite group, at least when it comes to overall stability.

Reaction on competition

England and Belgium through... what a shocker!!!

The World Cup of Metal: Group F

Hell yeah, Sweden is through to the quarter finals, let us celebrate by continuing our World Cup series, and wouldn't you know, we have reached Sweden's group. Let us check it out, shall we?

Germany

The former England player Gary Lineker once spoke that football is an easy sport, that it is about 22 men running around in a field chasing a ball, and at the end, Germany win. Now, that is not entirely true, but I would be lying if I did not say that Germany, together with Brazil, is probably the biggest football nation in the world. They are the reigning world champions after all, and by the looks of this year's squad, they could just as well defend their title. There is world class players everywhere, and just the fact that Leroy Sane, one of the greatest wingers this last season, is not in the squad is a testament to the massive depth Germany has, with both a lot of experience, and a lot of young and hungry players. Man, they are scary.

Despite that depth, it really does not even come close to matching what Germany does in the metal scene though. Just like German engineering, German metal is heavy, precise, and filled to the brim with quality. I do not need to go deeper into this, so let us just do a quick shout out to just some of the bands out there.

Ehem...

Blind Guardian, Rammstein, Kreator, Helloween, Gamma Ray, Sodom, Accept, Scorpions, Powerwolf, Running Wild, Grave Digger, Rage, Freedom Call, Edguy, Avantasia, The Ocean, Tankard, Van Canto, Vanden Plas, Doro, Obscura, Equilibrium, Destruction, Primal Fear, Suidakra, Heaven Shall Burn, Dark Fortress, Crematory, Brainstorm, Exumer, At Vance, Angel Dust, Words of Farewell, and Die Apokalyptischen Reiter. Did I miss any?

Mexico

Ahh Mexico, a proud land who take pride with their football, which their record has shown. They eased through their qualifiers, led by the Little Pea (or as his real name is Javier "Chicarito" Hernandez) and a huge veteran in Rafael Marquez, who makes his 5th World Cup appearance. This is a sneaky good team with some potential break out stars, like PSV Eindhoven star Hirving Lozano, who have gotten the nickname "Chucky" (after the "Child's Play" character of course). The question is though if they can break the curse. In the last 6 World Cups, Mexico has made it through the group stage, but got eliminated in the last 16 every time. Let us hope this frisky squad can go further.

While I like the team, I am really not loving the metal scene, mostly because the genres grindcore and deathcore are dominating. This type of music is not for me because it is just way too messy, too much chaos for my simple brain to handle. There is no denying that the country has a fair share of promising bands, the biggest of them all is Brujeria, a grindcore group that has thrived since the early 90's, and almost even more so when President Trump gave them some extra fuel to work with. Other notable -core bands are Here Comes The Kraken, Disgorge, and Paracoccidioidomicosisproctitissarcomucosis (try saying that three times quickly).

There are a bunch of other bands though that fight for some attention. The death metal band The Chasm has created a respectable career during their 25 years of existence, and so have also the progressive band Agora. They do not come close to being as productive as the death thrash band Transmetal, who between 1988 and 2014 have released 20 full length albums, that is a rate of about 0,77 albums per year. Probably more quantity than quality there, but still, that is some dedication, which I certainly see in a lot of other Mexico bands. Great to see that.

South Korea

This is easily the weakest opponent in this group, but you should never underestimate South Korea. This team has a knack to establish some impressive team efforts, making it very difficult for their opponents to gain any advantages against them. Sure, I do not think that they will even come close to the success they reached when they hosted the World Cup together with Japan in 2002 (bronze medal), but they might give Mexico and Sweden some trouble... maybe even Germany if they have their day. Everything rests on their star player though, the Tottenham star Heung-min Son, who have enjoyed a fantastic season prior to this summer's main event. Gonna be interesting to see this side, and what they can accomplish.

It is pretty obvious that South Korea is more into their own little sub genre known as K-pop, and they have not yet unleashed a Babymetal like clone out to the world. The most prominent metal band out there is surely Jambinai, a strange post-metal band that takes ancient Korean instruments, such as the Piri, the Haegeum, the Geomungo, and even some glockenspiel (Hey, isn't that German?), mix them all up into a very weird, but more importantly, interesting type of music that you most certainly would not hear anywhere else. As a European, it is confusing at first, but I eventually started to dig these infectious rhythms, go check them out.

Otherwise, it is not much else to report here. We got a melodic death metal band who have been around since 1993 in Oathean, and a gothic band in Ophelia. As said, not much else to report.

Sweden

So Sweden might be seen as one of the more boring entries to this World Cup, defending for long periods of time, waiting for the perfect opportunity to strike. Well, you cannot blame the result though, because this inexperienced Swedish squad (without Zlatan Ibrahimovic) managed to beat France, and eliminate both the Netherlands and Italy in their way to this tournament. This is a team, eleven players working their asses off to help each other, and they have to, because they have no real stars. Emil Forsberg might be the biggest out there, or maybe perhaps Victor Nilsson Lindelöf, but none of them are in the world class category, and other players, like Ola Toivonen, have gotten very little play time in their clubs. This is a team that trust each other, they win together, and lose together, which is something we all can admire.

You know what is not boring though? Swedish metal! Just like Germany, I do not really need to say much here, so let me just name a few bands, and call it a day.

Ehem...

Opeth, Amon Amarth, In Flames, Dark Tranquility, Katatonia, Arch Enemy, Therion, Meshuggah, Bathory, Hypocrisy, Pain, HammerFall, At The Gates, Sabaton, Soilwork, Pain of Salvation, Candlemass, Ghost, Marduk, Scar Symmetry, Tiamat, Evergrey, Dark Funeral, Diablo Swing Orchestra, The Night Flight Orchestra, Entombed, Watain, Cult of Luna, Yngwie Malmsteen, The Haunted, Amaranthe, Soen, Vintersorg, Tribulation, Witherscape, Nocturnal Rites, Grand Magus, Europe, Spiritual Beggars, Avatarium, Graveyard, Andromeda, Avatar, Mustasch, Hardcore Superstars, and Twilight Force. Did I miss any?

Thoughts on group

This is quite an uneven group, to say the least, we got two heavy metal giants in Sweden and Germany, and two... let us say not as big nations in South Korea and Mexico. So while the two mastodons steals most of the spotlight, you certainly should not look past the little guys, they may not have the numbers, but they got heart. This is probably the strongest group of them all.

Reaction on the competition

Well, decided to do a reaction here instead of just writing my prediction before the tournament (besides, you guys probably knew that I was predicting Germany and Sweden to go through). It is clearly a shock that Germany went out on the group stage, but the Germans never found the harmony. They had a rocky start, was quite lucky against Sweden, and just flat out sucked against South Korea. Me think they relied a little too much on the guys who won them the cup 4 years ago, instead of letting in the younger talent (*cough* Sane *cough*). I am ultimately glad that Mexico and Sweden went through, they deserved it.