Lordi - To Beast Or Not To Beast (2013)

To say that the time after the victory in The Eurovision Song Contest in 2006 has been a nightmare for the Finnish monster band Lordi is an understatement. Do not get me wrong, I loved "Hard Rock Hallelujah" and I was stoked when they won the competition (the first victory ever for Finland by the way) but the attention the band got after the win has been bad for the band. The two following albums, "Deadache" and "Babez For Breakfast", was just awful and I and many others lost all respect for the band. I still cannot look into a Lordi album without questioning myself if the band is ridiculous or just acts that way. For example, the video to their latest single "The Riff" is a hot model wearing high heels, a busty corset and panties in a convenient store being chased by brain hungry zombies. The model made me horny but the ridiculousness in that video was just... well, ridiculous. A big fucking joke.

But how about "The Riff"? "The Riff" is easily the best single the band has released since "Hard Rock Hallelujah" and the story about the devil and his band is both fun and interesting. The song itself is groovy and edgy but it also has one of the coolest text lines in 2013 so far (that also explains the bands journey after ESC pretty well).

"So the devil's out of touch / and he cannot smell a hit / 'cause he has lost his mind / in all that Hip-Hop shit".

Lordi humour at its best.

The big difference that Lordi has brought forward since the last album is a new born attitude that is a good mix of horror and cockiness, an attitude that is very crucial for the band's performance. The adrenaline starts pumping when you hear Lordi's self confident in "We're Not Bad For The Kids (We're Worse)" and "I'm The Best". And with that self confident also comes a better imagination, a ingredient that the band missed in the last two albums. For instance, the band is trying their best to impersonate a hockey quire in "I Luv Ugly", an attempt that gives the song a much needed lift.

But after around half of the album we really get to know Lordi by their true colors. In "Horrifiction" we get references from every famous horror movie together with a riff that fits better in "No One Like You" by Scorpions. Then we also have the way too groovy "Happy New Fear" that has a fucking awesome intro but the song is completely ruined as soon as the wimpy chorus kicks in. But the worst song is "Candy For The Cannibal". I dig the concept and the lyrics but is it really necessary to stutter out the chorus? That part drives me c-c-crazy and it is giving me a r-r-rash. Not even that great guitar solo could save this song. Such a shame. If you should listen to one track from the latter half then "Schizo Doll" is the obvious choice with its good keyboard work and frightening children quire. If Chucky from Child's Play ever had a own theme song then this would be it.

So do I chose to beast or not? I actually chose the first alternative but that is only 'cause of the fact that "To Beast Or Not To Beast" is the best album since "The Arockalypse". It is good old Lordi all the way through and the craftsmanship in this album is not too shabby but it is still Lordi and it gets a little too goofy from time to time. I still hold other monster bands like Slipknot, Mushroomhead and GWAR higher but Lordi will always have a place in my playlist. After all, it is hard to say no to monsters that comes from Santa's home town Rovaniemi.

Songs worthy of recognition: The Riff, I Luv Ugly, Schizo Doll

Rating: 7/10 Horrifictions

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