Sunday, October 7, 2018

From Worst To First: Iron Maiden

My discography reviewing journey took me from a progressive metal band from 'Murica, to what is arguably the biggest metal band that has ever existed. It is insane to think how huge Iron Maiden has become during their 40+ year history, starting out as a scrappy young band from Leyton, Great Britain, eventually becoming an arena touring behemoth that more or less every metal head look up to with a big smile on their faces.

What is it with Maiden that makes them so great though? Well, it could be the simple facts, like the amazing musicianship, the insane amount of fun that is put into every track, and the massive passion that all members have for metal music in general. Yes, it is just something with the band's unique style of blazing guitars, high powered live performances, and catchy song writing that speakes to my, and a ton of others, heart. There is certainly no other band that has so many passionate fans out there. For instance, I know a bunch of guys that go to every show they do that is even close to the Swedish borders, that buy every merch, every special versions of the album. They love other bands as well, but their love for Maiden is out right mental.

While I also love Maiden with all my heart, I still know that the band is not perfect, at least when it comes to their studio efforts. They have made 16 so far, and all of them have their personal charm, but the question still remains, which one is the best, and which ones are the rest. Time to rank all the Iron Maiden full length records (iow no live albums or compilations included).

16. The X Factor

It seems like most people actually like this album, and I honestly cannot blame them, because there are some neat things in here. It has a bunch of great tracks like "Man On The Edge", "Judgement of Heaven", and "Lord of The Flies", and for a first attempt, Blaze Bayley sounds pretty good. The problem I have with this record is that it is too dark. Everything here is too dark, the tone, the production, the themes, even Harris' bass sounds too dark. It just does not feel like a Iron Maiden release, it feels like some other band did it instead. Oh well, if you like it, that is great for you, but I cannot bother to get back into this album. After all, there are 15 records out there that are better.

Eddie check: Poor Eddie, tortured beyond belief. Sure, he always look like he stubbed his toe on something, but this is a gruesome image that is sort of cool, but also show all of the problems of the album. 5/10

15. No Prayer For The Dying

Every time I try to think of the Maiden discography on the top of my head, I always seem to forget this album. Sure, it had the tough task of taking Maiden into the rough 90's, but it did so with some of the most bland material they have ever written. The band took a huge step backwards in their musical development, settling for simpler songs with hooks that surely stick, but are really teetering on the verge towards being annoying. Nah, I am glad that I keep forgetting this album, there are after all much better Maiden efforts out there.

Eddie check: It is interesting to see Eddie in what looks to be a horror movie poster, but otherwise it is one of the least interesting album covers. Eddie is fairly normal, and even if his pose is dynamic, it just looks like he is reaching out for his jacket. Colors are nice at least. 4/10

14. Virtual XI

This is a strange album, to say the least. With more opportunities for Blaze Bayley to contribute in the song writing, "Virtual XI" got some sort of a sci-fi treatment, which does not always work. It has a bunch of interesting ideas, and the whole tone of the record helps it get past its older brother "The X Factor" with ease, but it still does not have enough quality in it to really grip me. It is a valid attempt for a band that was a little lost during the time, but this album is just like the technology of virtual reality in general, a wishful thought that just does not work... at least in this day and age, maybe in the future.

Eddie check: Seems like Eddie is living his Freddy Krueger dreams here, being all evil and shit. He certainly looks intimidating, and his bony fingers are a nice little touch that adds to the full image. Not sure what to think about the inverted mohawk thing though. It looks awful, but at the same time it is creepy. 7/10

13. Fear of The Dark

Honest to god, do we know any other track from this record than the title track? Well... we got "Afraid To Shoot Strangers"... oh, and "Be Quick Or Be Dead" is in it as well. It is still painfully obvious though that beside from the ever popular live staple, "Fear of The Dark" is an album filled with okay songs that you can absolutely listen to, maybe even sing along to as well, but none of them are anything special. Looking back at it, it is not that surprising that Bruce left the band after this effort, because Maiden had lost all momentum during that time, and needed some kind of fresh start. Well, it completes the quarter-fecta, with all 90's records taking the four lowest spots on my list.

Eddie check: Eddie as a tree? Okay, I understand that they are trying to make him creepy again here, but this does not work at all. He looks goofy as hell with that out of control hair and beard, making me laugh instead of cowering with fear. Hell, that tree in Pocahontas is way scarier than Eddie here (then again, Disney has a pretty good track record scaring children). 3/10

12. A Matter of Life And Death

Close to everything about this record is rather disappointing. From the boring album cover, to the overall grey atmosphere, "A Matter of Life And Death" just seemed like a safe bet from the band, not taking any wild chances at all. Sure, the first single was the challenging "The Reincarnation of Benjamin Breeg", and the ultra epic "Brighter Than A Thousand Suns" does bring a flash bang of hope to this album, but it did not help enough with a tracklist that was quite front heavy, putting all of the long and exhausting songs in the back. The true prog phase of the band probably started with this record, but it was not perfected here.

Eddie check: Eddie is reduced to an emblem... what the actual hell? Would have been cool to see him as some rotten war hero, but nope, just an emblem. GOD DAMMIT!!! 0/10

11. Killers

People keep discussing which of the two Paul Di'Anno albums are the best, but for me, there is no question in that matter. While "Killers" is a natural progression for the band both musically and in production quality, it still feels a little like a disappointment with several songs being forgettable, and that the jump from first to second record is not to great. It is mostly more of the same, and for a band that eventually would make a career of evolving as musicians as they go, "Killers" is just a small step that is barely noticeable. I hope that Eddie is not ready to murder me for those words, he looks pretty angsty already...

Eddie check: This is a classic Eddie image, with him looking scary, holding a bloody axe, and a victim clinging onto his shirt. This is probably high on a lot of people's lists, but not mine. Not Eddie's fault, but he is just way more interesting in other versions. Sorry, not sorry. 6/10

10. Piece of Mind

Out of all the albums from Maiden's golden era, "Piece of Mind" is the only one that I just do not get. Sure, "The Trooper" is impossible to resist, and it has a good amount of creative thought put behind it, but I just do not think this is a great record. For me, it lacks both power and momentum, having a sluggish feeling that really no other Maiden album has, and it is so strange. It lacks star power as well, with the lesser songs being lesser than usual, and the highlights standing fairly low. By no means a bad record, it is one I would easily skip if I had any other album from the classic era readily available.

Eddie check: Another classic cover, and setting Eddie in an asylum with a straight jacket just feels right. After all, he is a strange creature that no one understand, perfect for scared people to lock away somewhere far away. Minus points though for him blending into the background. 7/10

9. Dance of Death

I really cannot seem to make up my mind over "Dance of Death". First I hated it, then I loved it, and it goes back and forth like that depending on the time. Right now, I find it to have a bunch of positives, like some incredibly catchy sing along tunes, but that it still falls flat in the end. It does not feel like a complete album, one that you would come back to time and time again. Do not be surprised if I change my mind over this record again some time in the future, but as it stands now, it is just a run of the mill Maiden record, which is still not that awful actually.

Eddie check: What is this CGI abomination? This is easily the worst album cover the band has ever presented, and the only redeeming quality is Eddie himself, but even he is disappointing. Finally he is depicted as the Grim Reaper himself, and he is only to be found far away from our sights? WHAT WERE THEY THINKING??? 3/10

8. The Final Frontier

This spaced out record has always been a personal favourite of mine, one that I for some reason keep coming back to. Yeah, I understand that the two main singles "El Dorado" and the title track are boring as hell, and that it has some other lesser parts, but as a whole, this album just works. I love the opening intro "Satellite 15" that shoots us straight into space, and the two longest songs of the record, "The Talisman and "When The Wild Wind Blows" are some of the most fluent tracks Maiden has ever done. You can fight me all you want about this one, but I will still come back to this record time and time again. It just has that effect on me.

Eddie check: Without any competition, this is the most imaginative Eddie of them all, and he looks awesome. Just look at all those textures, all those details, and the fact that it still looks like Eddie is just amazing. I am sure that if The Predator or a xenomorph faced off against this beast, they would be pretty frightened. 9/10

7. The Number of The Beast

"The Number of The Beast" is an all time classic, one that has been in countless "Top albums of all time" lists, and it lifted the band to heights that the members thought were impossible to reach. So why is it only at number 7? While the album is with no question great, it is inconsistent as hell. The great three ("Hallowed Be Thy Name", "Run To The Hills", and the title track) are certainly amazing, and I also like "The Prisoner" as well, but the rest of the songs are ranging from okay to boring. It is close to impossible for me to play this record without skipping any songs, and for that reason alone, it loses a bunch of points in my book.

Eddie check: What Eddie lacks in originality, he takes a ton of it back in just pure intimidation. Just look here, he is bigger than the freaking devil, and it even looks like he is controlling him. It is such an iconic image, how can you not at least respect it. 8/10

6. Iron Maiden

Ahh, the original record. It may be rough on its exterior, crude in its execution, and it might even sound a little like a punk record (even if Steve Harris would deny that fact all the way to his grave), but there is a charm to it that makes it irresistible. Almost everything with this record made the band stand out in 1980, like their fast guitars and provoking vocals. It laid the foundation for the band, and it did so with a lot of dirt and grime, and also some blood and sweat. The tears was left for the audience who heard this would be superpower for the first time.

Eddie check: The original, the one and only, Eddie The Head. It is a classic look that created a character that is almost bigger than the band itself. I just love that he looks like a combination of a zombie, a heroin addict, and that guy from the Edvard Munch painting "The Scream". Hell, even the light post looks like a giant needle, a classic that never fades. 7/10


5. Brave New World

The Bruce comeback record may not be the brightest shining star in the Maiden discography, but it is sure as hell a damn fine record with some really memorable songs. It was a statement from the band that they were back in their old ways, creating awesome music, but also music that would award the listener if they put their mind into it. Difficult songs like "Dream of Mirrors" and "The Thin Line Between Love And Hate" was mixed in with bangers like "Out of The Silent Planet", "The Wicker Man", and the title track, creating an album that went back and forth between what made Maiden great, and what would keep them from losing the edge. Add in an emotional semi-ballad in "Blood Brothers" as well, and you get one hell of a record.

Eddie check: I like the idea the artist had here, depicting Eddie as an outer world being that constantly watches the world from the clouds. It is a shame though that we just get the face, and not much more. Oh well, I bet Eddie would make a great cloud Mufasa in the live action adaptation of "The Lion King". 6/10

4. The Book of Souls

Now that three years have gone since the release of "The Book of Souls", I can see that I kind of overreacted in my review of it. It has its fillers, and the double album format is not really fitting for the band. Still, I stand by my statement that this record is the best Maiden record since "Seventh Son...". The great parts completely overshadows the more faulty parts, and the musicality in here is just at an fantastic levels. Just the fact that the 4 songs in here that are over 8 minutes in length are of such a high quality is just amazing. This is truly an achievement by the band, to make such a challenging record and still come down nearly flawlessly with it, there is just not that many bands out there that would be able to pull this one off.

Eddie check: I really do love the design of Eddie in this album. He works really well as a native Mayan warrior that only wears a loin cloth, some piercings, and some war paint. The red and black eyes are an incredibly nice touch as well. It is just a shame that we only get to see him from the chest and up on the cover, in the most boring album cover Maiden has ever had. How could you waste such a cool character? Shame! 8/10

3. Powerslave

Being a classic fan favourite, the powerhouse "Powerslave" ends up taking the bronze medal, and it does so thanks to its wide range of awesome songs. From the super hits "Aces High" and "2 Minutes To Midnight" at the beginning, to the 13 and a half minute mastodon epic "Rime of The Ancient Mariner", this is an extremely solid record that is a pure joy ride in all of its 50 minutes of run time. I also love the Egyptian theme that the band has here, it really gives the album a personality that is hard to match. Just a bummer that they did not went 100% with that theme.

Eddie check: This is simply perfection. Not only because Eddie already resembles a mummy in his normal looks, but him as an Egyptian pharaoh who has gotten his own giant statue is just marvelous. It is as majestic as majestic can get, a true leader and king. 10/10

2. Seventh Son of A Seventh Son

Knowing where Maiden has gone with their musical direction, "Seventh Son..." was like looking into a crystal ball to see and hear the future. It is a progressive metal album in all its meanings, seeing the band experiment a lot with longer songs, more complex structures, and themes that demands a lot of attention and focus. It still has that classic Maiden flare though, displaying lots of great choruses, playful instrumental arrangements, and a Bruce that is all over the place, in a good way. It is a masterful record that is both a progressive masterpiece, and a Maiden masterpiece. An incredibly nice double whammy.


Eddie check: With such an imaginative concept, we need a creative Eddie. So let us take away half his body, put a candle on top of his head, and let him hold his own stomach sack that what I assume holds the seventh son. Oh, and make him float as well. BRILLIANT! 7/10

1. Somewhere In Time

It might be a surprising choice for most, but for me, this is the ultimate Maiden record. From top to bottom, we are treated with everything that makes the band so awesome. We got tons of imaginative riffs, catchy choruses as far as the ear can hear, and a great variety of different tunes, from the long and rangey "Alexander The Great (356-323 BC)" to the galloping attack of the title track. This record is the true definition of the motto "All killer, no filler", with all of the 8 tracks fulfilling a purpose. Even the lesser tracks like the overrated "Wasted Years" and the simplistic "Deja-Vu" are still bangers that I could listen to time and time again. It is just a shame that this album seems to often be overshadowed, with few songs ever appearing on the live setlists. No matter what, this is still a record that is 51 minutes of epic greatness in musical form, one where the band truly displays all their good qualities. Simply put, it is amazing.

Eddie check: I absolutely love the creativity and details on this particular Eddie character. He certainly seems like he comes from the future, ready to beat the shit out of Skynet. Pose is a little weird though, is he stretching? 9/10

And as a bonus, here are my 10 favourite Iron Maiden tracks, in alphabetical order

Brighter Than A Thousand Suns
Oh, it is bright alright, you need sunglasses to listen to this one.

Fear of The Dark
The live classic, not as good in studio version, but still epic as hell.

Hallowed Be Thy Name
The ultimate epic, a perfect song from start to finish.

Phantom of The Opera
If the musical with the same name consisted of songs like this one, maybe I would see it.

Powerslave
Holy balls, this track would make every tomb in Egypt shake with all mummies headbanging to it.

Rainmaker
I tried playing this song during the summer over and over again, but it did not result in any rain. Sounds good though.

Seventh Son of A Seventh Son
A brilliant title track that showed the ultimate progressive side of the band.

The Evil That Men Do
Another "Seventh Son..." track, but the exact opposite. Catchy, short, and simple.

The Loneliness of The Long Distance Runner
As a guy who hates running, I understand the feeling this song tries to emote. Fuck running.

The Talisman
A forgotten gem from "The Final Frontier" that has so much brilliant execution in it.

And as a bonus bonus, since I went through all the Eddie's, here is a quick ranking of them

16. Emblem Eddie
15. Reaper Eddie
14. Tree Eddie
13. Charging Eddie
12. Tortured Eddie
11. Murder Eddie
10. Cloud Eddie
9. Virtual Eddie
8. Floating Eddie
7. Crazy Eddie
6. Original Eddie
5. Giant Eddie 
4. Mayan Eddie
3. Future Eddie
2. Alien Eddie
1. Pharaoh Eddie

Stay metal!
Robert "Sharkruisher" Andersson

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