Saturday, April 28, 2018

From worst to first: Marvel Cinematic Universe movies

In recent time, my urge to review has gone down, and that is for a number of reasons that I do not really want to get into. So I have tried to find new ways to get the spark going again, and a simple way to do so is top lists, not just any top lists though, straight up power rankings. You will not see me do an ordinary top 10 this or top 5 that, I want to get it all in, not only the best, but also the rest.

Introducing "From worst to first", a series where I will list the lamest and the coolest within a certain subject, and to start it off, I thought we would go to a very big current event, the release of "Avengers: Infinity War". I am not the biggest fan or movies, comic books, or the combination of the two, but this whole universe that Marvel have created is simply astonishing. The care that they have given the characters and the stories is remarkable, and with its 10th year running, it is nothing less than an amazing feat to see it not only still going, but being bigger and stronger than ever.

So as preparations for the 19th movie in the universe, I have caught up to the movies I have missed over the years, and decided to rank them all. Remember guys, this is my opinions alone, I am as right or wrong as you. Now, let us start with...

18. Thor: The Dark World

Out of all 18 movies, this is the only one that feels like it belongs more in the DCEU, mostly thanks to its incredibly dark tone, but also for how messy it is. The whole story is just strange, and the villain is one of the more forgettable ones in the franchise (and that is saying something). The interaction between Thor and Loki is the only redeeming quality in here, otherwise it is a failure that fortunately has become an anomaly for Marvel.

Also, that final fight, you can't see shit

17. Iron Man 2

I kinda enjoyed this one the first time I watched it, but the more I thought about it, the more faults I found. Biggest problem is that Tony is not anywhere near as enjoyable as in the first movie, which does make it tough to root for him. Then we have the fact that we got an Iron Man Vs. Iron Man fight again, and it is not any good either. It is a definite disappointment for everyone who loved the first movie, and a Mickey Rourke enjoying his second stint at the top could not save it.

Also, is this the most useless movie in the build up of the franchise? Possibly.

16. The Incredible Hulk

How hard can it really be to make a kick ass movie about a big, angry, green dude? "The Incredible Hulk" is definitely more interesting than that boring Ang Lee movie, but it is still one of the most easily forgotten movies, with most people not even knowing it was a part of the MCU. That could be because Edward Norton is playing Bruce Banner, and not Mark Ruffalo. It is a shame Edward turned down to continue his role, because he is a great actor, but I think it worked out fine, even if The Hulk is in desperate need of a new stand alone movie, one with way more action and less talking.

Also, how many bullets does it take for the US Army to understand that it will not hurt Hulk even the slightest? Far too many according to this movie.

15. Iron Man 3

This is one of the movies I had to catch up to before going into "Infinity War", and the reason for it is that I just was not feeling like watching another Iron Man movie after the previous one was so meh. This one is certainly better, but it has its problems. First the good stuff, Tony is likeable again, the action is nice, and the whole Extremis serum and what it did was pretty dope. However, the bad takes over though, especially with the main villain. I do not read the comics, but I do not believe that The Mandarin is depicted like THAT. What an absolutely shitty disappointment that unfortunately was very easy to see coming, even if it tried to be this epic twist.

Also, it made me forget about the second movie, which is nice.

14. Captain America: The First Avenger

It might be because I am Swedish, but I cannot connect with Captain America one bit. Sure, he does represent being a hero perfectly, and Chris Evans does a fantastic job portraying him, but he is just not that flashy of a hero. "The First Avenger" is a fine origin movie with some nice performances by Chris and Hugo Weaving playing Red Skull, one of the more memorable villains, but it does not feel fully focused, and the whole rescue mission scene is just some dumb bullshit. Overall it is okay, but not more.

Also, screw Bucky. I know he does not have a big role here, still screw him.

13. Ant-Man

Just like everyone else, I just laughed when I heard that one of Marvel's heroes were called Ant-Man. What a stupid name, it does not scare anyone. Turns out, his powers are no laughing matter, with the potential of ripping the world apart! (if this theory is correct). The movie itself is okay, but kind of forgettable, not really standing out in anyway. Still, it had a nice ending, Paul Rudd is very likeable, so Ant-Man does indeed deserve a spot in the franchise.

Also, Ant-Man is still a stupid name.

12. Captain America: The Winter Soldier

I am gonna get a lot of hate from die hard Marvel fans, aren't I?

While I do agree that the action here is some of the best of the franchise, and that it has several tense moments, I just cannot get behind that the story is all about Bucky. Seriously, the whole Steve and Bucky buddy relationship is just silly and annoying. It ruins an otherwise cool action movie where the Cap is really growing as a character, starting to question if what he does is the right thing. I understand why most of you absolutely love this movie, but for me, it just does not hold up for the entire run time.

Also, if I was not clear enough, screw Bucky.

11. Avengers: Age of Ultron

After the success of the first Avengers movie, there was no way the second one would match it, and it did not. While it does not come anywhere near its predecessor, "Age of Ultron" still has some good qualities to it. Ultron is one of the cooler Marvel villains out there, we get introduced to Scarlet Witch, Quicksilver, and Vision, and seeing all these heroes once again working together is certainly a sight to behold. It may not be as grand as the first movie, but it has its moments.

Also, does Mjolnir honestly think Vision is worthy of the Asgardian throne, or was it just confused because of the infinity stone?

10. Thor

Most people seem to either dislike or be quite indifferent to the first Thor movie, but I think it is a fairly decent "Fish out of water" story with two leads that are just killing it. Chris Hemsworth and Tom Hiddleston as Thor and Loki are magnificent, bringing some much needed life in an otherwise bland movie. It does not have any grand battles, mind blowing action, extreme tension, or a good amount of comedy, but it is a serviceable movie that is an easy watch.

Also, was it really necessary to squeeze in a love story in this (and "The Dark World)? Classic Hollywood stupidity.

9. Doctor Strange

Starting out the better half of the roster, "Doctor Strange" deserves its place amongst the top for its visuals alone. There is a ton of impressive special effects and a good amount of imaginative writing in here that makes it very memorable. There was also a lot of unexpected comedy in here that hit extremely well with me, especially with how the ending went down, that is one of the funniest moments in the entire MCU. A really exciting movie that unfortunately does not have a strong enough villain, but it is strange enough that it does not need one.

Also, for a brilliant surgeon, Dr. Strange is a dumb ass for multitasking while driving, focus on the road asshole.

8. Captain America: Civil War

Let us be honest here, this movie is mostly up here because we get to see some sweet hero on hero action. The fight scene between all heroes is one of the best scenes in the franchise, even with the knowledge that there was basically no stakes involved. This movie was more than that though, it had great pacing, we finally got to see Spider-Man Mach 3, and it had several memorable parts that people would remember for years to come. Never thought I would love a Captain America movie, but here we are.


7. Guardians of The Galaxy Vol. 2

I went back and forth with this one, because it had some odd moments that just hampered the movie in my opinion. Fortunately, there is way more fun stuff in here so that I can overlook the bad stuff. It did what any sequel should do, take what worked with the first movie, and add some new elements to keep it fresh. And just like the first one, it is fun as hell, with several characters, both old and new, glowing. I mean, Yondu, what a guy, did not expect to love him that much after watching this movie.

Also, Baby Groot is just the cutest!

6. Spider-Man: Homecoming

The original Spider-Man franchise got me hooked into the "comic book movie" genre, and I honestly though that there would be no better movie about Peter Parker and his responsible powers than the second movie from the original trilogy. "Homecoming" does make a good case though, with a fantastic Tom Holland as a younger Peter Parker, a great villain played by Michael Keaton, some really funny moments, and a nice flow throughout the movie. You could argue that the action scenes are not this movie's strong point, but hell, this movie still rocks, and it makes me excited about upcoming movies, despite this being the third version of this character in a short amount of time

Also, was it meant as knock on DC when they named the bully/asshole/possible insecure homosexual Flash? I think it is, and I find it hilarious.

5. Thor: Ragnarok

It is obvious that they borrowed a lot from the "Guardians..." series and inserted it into this movie, but frankly, I do not care, since it worked so god damn well. "Thor: Ragnarok" is a fun movie that throws the previous two parts out of the window to create a unique setting. There are so many cool scenes in here, like the Thor Vs. Hulk fight, the entrance of Hela, Thor finding his inner strength, and many more. It is a fast paced movie with a lot of charm and love, and it kicks ass.

Also, I do not get the whole thing about Jeff Goldblum. Is he supposed to be charming? I think he is just... awkward.

4. Black Panther

It was hard to rank this one since it was released so recently, but with time, this might rise even higher in the list. This is arguably the most prolific movie of the lot, both in style and tone, and the amount of people it gathered to the theaters is just astounding. And just like close to all other movies in the MCU, it opened my eyes to this character (or opened them even more, since he first appeared in "Civil War"), presenting him in a fantastic way that made me love him even more. As said, in time, it might go even higher, no question though that I will enjoy T'Challa and his future adventures.

Also, how come he came into this universe this late? This is a bad ass character, would rather have seen more of this than Ant-Man.

3. Guardians of The Galaxy

This movie ultimately changed this whole universe into something better, that we could have a different movie that was not quite like the other ones, but still fit in nicely. All of these characters (that I had never heard of before seeing this movie) just match together so well with their different personalities, creating some really dynamic situations. It is a simple movie that does not complicate things, that introduces yet another infinity stone in a nice way, and is just having a blast from start to finish.

Also, a dance off saves the galaxy? What the hell man!

2. Iron Man

The original, the first of them all, the one every other movie has to try to match. Yes, it does not have the most epic battles, it does not have the best character developments, and it certainly is not the funniest movie in the MCU. However, it is a movie where everything just simply falls into place, where it all just feels right. It is a satisfying movie in a lot of ways, and most of it comes from the performance of Robert Downey Jr., one of his best after "Tropic Thunder". Just think about this, who cared, or even knew, about Iron Man before this movie came out? Now, he is one of the more popular Marvel heroes out there, and it is all thanks to this brilliant movie.

Also, would it not have been cooler if Tony just had continued with the original suit throughout all of the movies? Pretty impractical, but bad ass.

1. Marvel's The Avengers

This movie is just pure awesomeness from start to finish. I still remember when it hit the theaters, it was a massive happening, finally seeing Iron Man, Hulk, Cap, and the others together fight side by side in a massive movie that had it all. It still give me the chills today, just thinking of the score, the scenes, the fights, and especially when Hulk just beats the shit out of Loki. Man, I love this film to death, and I believe that no matter how long this universe will go on for, there simply will not be any movie that can match what "Marvel's The Avengers" accomplished. A super hero movie master piece.

Also, Hawkeye... a guy with arrows... Jesus Christ dude...

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