Helloween - Master of The Rings (1994)

After two very strange records and a shuffling of the line-up, Helloween emerged in 1994 as a reborn band, seemingly with a goal to completely erase both "Pink Bubbles Go Ape" and "Chameleon" from existence by going back to the band's roots. The title "Master of The Rings" sure has a nice ring to it (pun intended), taking us back to the fantasy realm where close to anything can happen, but who is the master? Maybe it is the video game part of my brain talking, but it cannot be anyone else than that blue blur known as Sonic The Hedgehog. Let us see if he makes an appearance, telling the band "You're too slow, come on, step it up".

It is funny that I talk about Sonic, because we do get a song dedicated to video games called "The Game Is On", talking that it could be a good way to escape reality and have some fun, as long as you do it responsibly. The lyrical themes are otherwise going in all sorts of directions, like doubts in faith inn "Why?", making sweet love in "Secret Alibi", and even giving former singer Michael Kiske a brutal slamming in "Mr. Ego (Take Me Down)". Ouch, that has to hurt.

While we are in the topics of singers, let us discuss Kiske's replacement, Mr. Andi Deris, who was picked up from Pink Cream 69. In terms of pure talent and range, Andi is definitely a down grade for Helloween, he just cannot match what Kiske could do, but he still has a unique tone to him that does fit the heavier side of the band. He is definitely not some average Joe that you are gonna forget, he gives his all, and does so in his way, which is probably why he is still with the band over 20 years later.

Andi does get a good amount of opportunities to shine in this record, because "Master of The Rings" has a bunch of really enjoyable tunes. "Sole Survivor" and "Where The Rain Grows" opens up the record with classic old school power metal, it is powerful, epic, and catchy as all hell. "Perfect Gentleman" shows off a more groovy and less serious side of the band that just feels fun, and "Still We Go" closes the album in an full on HammerFall-like offense. It is a dynamic record that may not have the same fire power as the "Keeper..." albums, but it is still a fun record to listen to.

However, even if the album is dynamic, it has sort of the same problem that "Chameleon" had, and that is that it feels sort of like a collaboration album, with songs that could have been made by other bands. "Mr. Ego (Take Me Down)" could have been a Queensrÿche song, and "In The Middle of A Heartbeat" could have been written by Bon Jovi. Then we have the most bonkers song in the entire record, "Take Me Home". I had to triple check to see if this was not a cover, because this track sounds so much like Van Halen that it just could not be an original track. It has everything that makes Van Halen what they are, the fast paced groove, the confident swagger, and the deciding factor, the guitars. Michael Weikath and Roland Grapow brings out their inner Eddie Van Halen and goes ballistic with insane riffs and solos that Eddie himself would be either proud over, or mad because they they straight out copied his style. I bet both Michael and Roland did a ton of practice on "Eruption" in their youth, and they nailed this one, creating a fun as hell song that is a clear stand out.

Overall, "Master of The Rings" is a clear return to form for Helloween, at least in the eyes of those who enjoyed their first three records, but not the two after those. For me, this is for sure a fun record that displays a band that has once again found harmony, a group that felt with ease in where they were at. It still has its fair share of bumps on the road, so the ride does not come out limousine quality of smoothness, but it is still a fun ride nonetheless. It is not like you are flying on a giant, golden ring in space, more like a four wheeler in the woods.

Songs worthy of recognition: Where The Rain Grows, Take Me Home, Still We Go

Rating: 7,5/10 Perfect Gentlemen

www.helloween.org/
twitter.com/helloweenorg

More reviews of Helloween
Walls of Jericho
Keeper of The Seven Keys: Part 1
Keeper of The Seven Keys: Part 2
Pink Bubbles Go Ape
Chameleon
The Time of The Oath
Better Than Raw
The Dark Ride
Rabbit Don't Come Easy
Keeper of The Seven Keys: The Legacy
Gambling With The Devil
7 Sinners
Straight Out of Hell
My God-Given Right

Skull Fist - Way of The Road (2018)

Classic speed metal as a genre is not exactly dead, but it certainly does not get a lot of attention these days. There could be several reasons to that, like no new bands taking the leap or no ground breaking records have been made for some time, but I think it is because we as a metal community has grown tired of the genre, which of course hits it hard on the bands that are still active within the genre. I do not think the Canadians in Skull Fist are doing terribly bad, but it has after all been 4 years since their last release, and judging by the album cover of their third effort, "Way of The Road", it seems like their budget has been cut down. No more colorful artwork with that skeleton mascot, instead we see the band in front of their beat down van, hoping for some much needed help to get to the next gig.

Their previous two LPs, "Head öf The Pack" and "Chasing The Dream", were both really enjoyable little speed demons, so it was not too far fetched to expect something similar for "Way of The Road", and we certainly got it. We got the killer double guitar combo that has always worked since the early days of Judas Priest, the vibrant bass that gives the sound that extra oomph, and also some nice high flying vocals that matches the speed quite well. From a quick glance, it seems like "Way of The Road" is standard, good stuff, starting off furiously with "You Belong To Me".

Then we come to the second track, "No More Running", and the band has already lost most of its momentum. It is an okay track overall with a nice melodic aura, but to let go of the gas so soon just does not feel right, and it also feels incredibly outdated, like it came straight out of the 80's. The band gets back up to speed again in "I Am A Slave", then gets immediately back to the sluggish pacing in the following three tracks. It is a roller coaster ride that does not feel very good.

Now, I do not want the band to go completely full speed ahead in the entire record, but if you are going to go for some slower, more melodic tracks, then do them well. "Heart of Rio" is a title that Duran Duran would do, and the music sounds like it could have been from Social Distortion, or any other old band that uses very simple riffing. In other words, not very speed metal like. Then we have "Witch Hunt", which has some neat guitar work in the solo, but it is otherwise a standard cookie cutter metal song that is just dull. I just wished they would have focused on creating more faster tracks, because those are genuinely good, like "Better Late Than Never" and its cool mix of Rainbow structures and Iron Maiden guitars.

The biggest problem with "Way of The Road" is that it feels pretty outdated, both in terms of a Skull Fist release, and as a general speed metal release. It is certainly a fine record overall that can give you a quick 80's fix, but if you are into the genre, you have surely heard albums like this one that are more fun, better executed, and are way more enjoyable. "Way of The Road" is an inconsistent release that does not warrant the 4 year wait, an album that is some rough shape from the get go, kind of like that van the band has. If you want to help these guys out, get one of their previous releases instead, do not bother with this one.

Songs worthy of recognition: I Am A Slave, You Belong To Me, Better Late Than Never

Rating: 5,5/10 Witch Hunts

www.facebook.com/skullfisted

More reviews of Skull Fist
Chasing The Dream

Haken - Vector (2018)

After spending some time in the past, British progressive metal group Haken is now back in present day, ready to unleash a brand new record onto our ears, and also giving us all a good old Rorschach test. So, what do I see in this album cover? A pair of lungs, an angel, a couple of doves, and also a cool comic book character that I have seen in some film, but cannot quite remember what his name is. Oh well, it is ultimately not what we see that matters, but what we hear, that is another kind of test.

After a strange and eerie opening in "Clear", "Vector" bursts out in "The Good Doctor", which is the shortest and simplest song in the album, but what it lacks in complexity, it makes up for it in hard hitting accuracy and jazz beats. It is for sure a positive start to the record, with a chorus that is catchy as hell, but it is still only a warm up for the onslaught of technicality that is about to hit us.

The following song "Puzzle Box" is pretty self explanatory. The riffs and beats in here by drummer Raymond Hearne, bassist Connor Green, and guitarists Charlie Griffiths and Richard Henshall are doing some wild gymnastics, spreading as much as possible to flex its muscles. The remaining members (vocalist Ross Jennings and keyboardist Diego Tejeida) do not let down either, helping out to make this track extremely versatile and exciting. All six has been playing together since 2014, so they have created a chemistry that is surely impressive, which is why the following song "Veil" is kind of a disappointment, because it has a little too much Dream Theater in it, and not enough of Haken and their signature prog style. It does not help that "Veil" is the longest track in the album, the only one going over the 8 minute mark, which in itself is a disappointment, together with the fact that we only got 44 minutes of new music, small potatoes for a prog band.

Haken gets back on track though with the instrumental track "Nil By Mouth", a diverse track that blends heavy and chaotic riffs with more soothing sections. It is just as dynamic as you would want an instrumental to be, never losing the listener among the sound gymnastics that is happening in seemingly light speed. Do not know if the band has done an instrumental before, but "Nil By Mouth" is impressive no matter what.

To get the listener back down to Earth, "Vector" ends with two pretty calm songs that does not challenge your mind all that much. "Host" is pretty forgettable with its jazz lounge style, but the closer "A Cell Divides" sticks with me quite well. No, it is not one of the more impressive songs of the record, but it is well executed in the build up phase, leading to the most memorable phrase of the record. "It's the beauty of the flaw, the grace of imperfection". Now that I think of it, this lyric line does describe the album fairly well. "Vector" has its flaws, like that it feels too short and that it is a little inconsistent, but it is still an album that is beautiful in its most shining moments. It does not live up to the expectations that both "The Mountain" and "Affinity" has created, but it is still a serviceable album that should please the fans, at least for a little while.

Songs worthy of recognition: Puzzle Box, The Good Doctor, Nil By Mouth

Rating: 7/10 Veils

www.hakenmusic.com/
twitter.com/Haken_Official

More reviews of Haken
Affinity

Tenacious D - Post-Apocalypto (2018)

The alleged greatest rock band in the world is back after a six year absence, and it seems like they have had quite an adventure during those six years. After all, why the hell would you release a record about your experiences of surviving a post apocalyptic world if you did not actually experience it. Maybe they blew it up a little too much, but then again, I am not American, so I have no idea what the USA was like after Trump got in the White House. I just have to trust the words of good old Jack Black and Kyle Gass.

So "Post-Apocalypto" takes the listener through a wild journey, which includes sex, nazis, sex, space, sex, time travel, and even more sex. Yes, just like with the predecessor "Rize of The Fenix", Tenacious D is once again going way too far with the sex jokes, losing all the impact that these jokes would normally have. I am starting to suspect if the band takes Viagra before going into the recording studio, because the whole first half of the record is just a bunch of loads, blow jobs, dicks, and va-jay-jays. I know I should not take these guys seriously, but come on, grow up a little bit at least.

Trust me though, the story becomes weirder after that, with the D fighting off against KKK members, Donald Jr., Jables Jr., and some weird ass monster called Daddy Ding Dong. Add a Terminator who fights with the D, and a three headed dog named Hope, and you got yourself a jumbled mess of WTF. The whole story is confusing as hell to follow, jumping from one happening to another like Jonathan Edwards takes three steps. The only way to make any sense of it all is if you go on to YouTube, and check out the mini series the band made, filling in the giant plot holes the album left us with, like why Hope started out with two heads but then later he has three, or what the hell a Yo-Yo Ma is.

So with the mini series, the story does make sense, and is admittedly pretty funny, but if you are gonna express this into album format as well, you just cannot leave so many plot holes in, or else the listener will be more lost than the people in Lost. Sure, I do admit that "The Pick of Destiny" had its own share of plot holes, but you could at the very least piece together the story there with some ease. That is something you cannot do with "Post-Apocalypto", there is just too much random shit happening.

Okay, I have talked enough about the story, but the only reason I have done so is that there is barely any music in here to begin with. There is way too many skits in this album, and whenever it finally gets to the music, the band just speeds it through, with no real song being over the 3 minute mark. The worst part is that the music is really good, classic Tenacious D rock that only they can do. The self titled track (and its reprise version) has that blazing "Master Exploder" feel that is so intoxicating, and the band manages to get some nice emotions in there too in "Fuck Yo-Yo Ma", "Hope" and "Making Love". Then we have two curve balls that are so wrong, but feels kind of right. First we have "marCH", an anthem for the KKK that claims that they like BBQs, but hate gays. In today's PC world, I am shocked that this exists, but it is kind of catchy, so..... nope, it is still wrong. Then we have a rap song in "JB Jr Rap", and the rapping is god damn awful, but in a funny way, and the beat itself is pretty sweet. Eh, it beats all the mumble rappers out there at least.

So all of this sums up into a 30 minute record, which is obviously way too short for a band that has had six years to make this record. "Post-Apocalypto" does have its moments of brilliance, but the fact that it is short as hell, have more holes than a Swiss cheese, is confusing as it can be, and that it feels like parts of it were done by a 10 year old makes this whole album a huge disappointment. I like the idea that they went for a concept record again, and the whole "End of the world" story is not bad, but it is presented really poorly unless you have watched the YouTube videos. JB, KG, I love you guys, but if a Terminator wielding a chainsaw-bazooka-machine-gun could not save this album, nothing could.

Songs worthy of recognition: Fuck Yo-Yo Ma, Post-Apocalypto Theme, Take Us Into Space

Rating: 4/10 Daddy Ding Dongs

www.tenaciousd.com/
twitter.com/RealTenaciousD

Helloween - Chameleon (1993)

So the previous Helloween album "Pink Bubbles Go Ape" might be weird, but I would argue that the band's 5th studio record entitled "Chameleon" is even weirder. Sure, the album cover does not have anything that matches a fish loving pinup girl, but what does this one say to you? It certainly does not scream power metal at least, and that is because this album is pretty far off from the high flying sound the band is known for. Instead, we get to hear a band that feels a little stuck in the 80's, despite this album being released in 1993. Oh lord have mercy on these pumpkins.

A possible reason to why "Chameleon" was so adventurous in its approach was the tensions within the band, which was so bad that both singer Michael Kiske and drummer Ingo Schwichtenberg got kicked out after the promotional tour. All of the songs were written by either Kiske, or one of the guitarists Michael Weikath and Roland Grapow, with no track having more than one writer. This leads to an album that is definitely diverse in its sound, but also extremely disjointed, going close to everywhere in the musical spectre, except for metal. We got rock, pop, prog, and even some country, but there is no sight of the sound that made the band so great in the first place.

So if you have not guessed it already, "Chameleon" is probably the most accesible Helloween album out there, feeling more like a collaboration between Bon Jovi and Guns N' Roses. So I did the only sensible thing, trying to get my mind straight, and judge this record from a blank slate, not thinking that it is Helloween who made it. Guess what, it does not work, it still sounds wrong, like no one band could make this on their own.

Still, I do think there is some good material in here, even if it is strange that it is Helloween performing these songs. "Revolution Now" and "Music" are two nice little pieces of progressive rock that the band handles surprisingly well, like a Queensrÿche light. Then we have the best of the 4 singles from this record, "Step Out of Hell", a steady and catchy rock tune that is easy to enjoy. The big favourite of mine though is "Crazy Cat", just because it is a fun and groovy song that show the funny side of the band, something I would have wished more from in this particular record. The saxophone in that track is a nice bonus as well. It is just a shame that these fine tracks are just a small part of this 1 hour and 11 minute record, which is obviously way too much to take in all at once. Some fat trimming would have done wonders here.

"Chameleon" is definitely deserving of its name, it shifts color here and there after the surrounding, but unlike the animal, this album just does not fit in. No matter how you see it, from whatever angle you may find, "Chameleon" is still kind of a mess, an album made by a group that is divided to their seams. It has its moments, but those are sparse, and it still does not really seem right. Not saying that Helloween cannot make an album that is not primarily power metal, but this particular effort is a no go in so many ways. It is a sad and strange ending to the Kiske era.

Songs worthy of recognition: Crazy Cat, Revolution Now, Step Out of Hell

Rating: 4,5/10 Giants

www.helloween.org/
twitter.com/helloweenorg

More reviews of Helloween
Walls of Jericho
Keeper of The Seven Keys: Part 1
Keeper of The Seven Keys: Part 2
Pink Bubbles Go Ape
Master of The Rings
The Time of The Oath
Better Than Raw
The Dark Ride
Rabbit Don't Come Easy
Keeper of The Seven Keys: The Legacy
Gambling With The Devil
7 Sinners
Straight Out of Hell
My God-Given Right